If you have been disappointed in love once, you become more cautious. The thought of a new love that could hurt you again makes you afraid. Scientists have discovered that you can learn fear from others.
Fear is an ancient instinct that is anchored in us. Your heart races, your eyes open wide, your hormones go crazy—this is how everybody reacts in a fearful situation. However, according to experts, the general fear of potential threats is a social problem that we can also learn from other people.
The scientific experiment
In a study by psychologists Armita Golkar and Andreas Olsson, test subjects watched someone looking at other people’s faces on a screen. When certain faces appeared on the screen, the person in front of the screen received a mild electric shock. The person in front of the screen thus developed a fear of the face that triggered the electric shocks. The fear arose even when they did not receive any electric shocks. The actual test subjects, who did not receive any electric shocks and just watched, also developed a fear of the faces on the screen that triggered the electric shocks in the other test subjects.
However, if there were no electric shocks while watching the screen, none of the participants who just watched developed any fear of the faces on the screen.
This means that you may have picked up your everyday phobia, for example, of spiders or confined spaces, from other people.
You can get rid of your fear of love.
It’s the same with love. Your parents separated when you were a child. So you developed a great fear of abandonment in your relationship. Or you don’t even get involved in a serious relationship because you can’t forget the face of your sad mother during the divorce. You’ve seen how easily love can break up and you’re afraid of the same images in your relationship.
The amygdala in the limbic system in your brain is responsible for your physical reaction to fear. You can’t stop your heart racing, stress hormones, or your eyes from opening wide, but it’s up to you to hold on to good memories and, despite the great fear, sometimes take certain risks, like love.
