“I can’t believe you did that?!” may be your first reaction to your partner’s betrayal. If not out loud, you’ve probably thought about it several times. The thought of betrayal, humiliation, and trampled feet has haunted you. And given all your torment, grief, and thoughts about him, will you be able to come back?
Forgiving a cheater is very difficult since there is practically no trust in him, but it is possible. We present 5 reasons to stay in a relationship.
You promised to stay
“What? Are you serious?” you ask. Yes. When you promised him that you would be there for him through thick and thin, until death do you part… That commitment meant that you would enjoy the positive times and fight through the tough times together. Infidelity is a tragedy, but it shouldn’t knock you down and stop you from growing together. Think twice before you break a promise you made, first and foremost, to yourself.
You appreciate the qualities he/she possesses
Even if your friends think that you got married solely because of your partner’s looks or some other petty reason, it’s unlikely to be true. In most cases, we think long-term because we share a love for something much more than just sex.
Think about the qualities he/she has. Your first instinct after cheating may be to push him/her out the door, but stop for a minute and think about what you will lose. Think before you give up on a relationship you value.
You will lose something important if the relationship goes away.
We are not talking about material things like money, property, etc. We are talking about the non-material aspects of living together. If you were dissatisfied with your relationship prior to the infidelity, you need to identify the reasons for the change and why your partner cheated.
Think about the most important things you share and receive from your partner before you lose the benefits you have in the relationship.
You have accumulated more than just memories
You bought a house, a car, you have children together… You also shared your dreams and perhaps achieved some of them together. You shared difficulties and helped each other get out of them. What you had is worth holding on to. Think before you easily throw away your victories and successes together.
Your relationship may provide you with something you value other than fidelity.
Fidelity may be the most important aspect of your relationship. Would you want to keep fidelity in your relationship if nothing else? Finding someone who wants to share the life path you’ve chosen is much harder because many of the choices along the way have already been made.
You must decide whether to rebuild trust and keep the relationship. Betrayal and forgiveness often strengthen relationships, bringing back the passion.
