3 Mistakes to Avoid When Finding the Right Partner If you are trying to find the right partner, you are not alone. A large number of people in the world are looking for a lifelong partner. When meeting a potential partner for the first time, try to be on your best behavior by avoiding certain mistakes.
MISTAKE #1: MISREPORTING YOURSELF
An incredible number of people pretend to be someone they are not when dating. Online dating is even worse—you’ll be lucky if people even use a real image of themselves. At first, misrepresenting yourself seems like a great way to attract a lot of potential partners. It works, but not for long. Most people don’t realize that the truth will come out soon after meeting someone. They’ll know you’ve been lying to them, and just like that, trust is broken. You can’t build a relationship without trust, so potential relationships end before they begin.
CATFISHING
In case of being misleading with online images and social media profiles, you can not even try to do it; the person will see you and understand that you are not the person in the picture. There is no point in using fake pictures. The same can be said about outdated photos. If you have gained 20 extra kilos, do not take photos of yourself when you are thin. Do not use photos of yourself from ten years ago or photos from when you were still in college. Current photos are the best and most honest policy.
One annoying habit some people have when posting profile pictures is posting pictures with other people. Don’t let people guess who you are. Make sure it’s just you in the picture.
TERRIBLE COINCIDENCES
Coincidences when they happen aren’t scary. What’s creepy is when you, as a potential partner, seem to like everything the other person likes. Is their favorite color blue? And yours too! Is their favorite food chicken cordon bleu? How crazy is it that you eat that all the time? Pretending to like everything the potential partner likes may seem cute at first, but it will wear off quickly. There aren’t many coincidences in the world, and people are a lot smarter than you think. Eventually, they’ll figure out that you’re lying about what you like. After that, they won’t be able to trust you, and the potential relationship will go south.
MISTAKE #2: BEING TOO SELECTIVE
Have you ever met someone with a long list of qualities that their ideal partner should have? You can bet your salary that they will still be single in a few years. Being too picky is a great way to end up single. You have to understand that no one is perfect. You have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding someone who has all the qualities you want in a partner.
STANDARDS VS. LEGIBILITY
The difference between having standards and being picky can be confusing because there is a fine line between the two. Indeed, you should not be picky, but that does not mean you cannot have standards. Standards and rules of the deal ensure that you find the right partner, but being picky is likely to cause you to miss out on the right partner.
So how do you tell the difference? Here’s an example. Amy’s ideal couple would earn six figures a year, drive a nice car, and not have kids from a previous relationship. Michelle’s ideal couple would earn a decent living to support a family, have a car, and not have kids from a previous relationship. They both choose traditional gender roles and want a partner who can provide for the family.
At first glance, these ladies are looking for the same thing. In fact, there is nothing wrong with what they listed. It’s called standards. However, if they are not willing to negotiate, things get picky. For example, Amy may meet a man who makes $65,000 a year as a health care worker, so should she turn him down? Michelle may meet a man who doesn’t make a decent living but has an inheritance that could allow her family to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. Should Michelle pass on this man because he doesn’t “earn” his living?
In both cases, these men may be supportive of their partner and children, but they will be overlooked because they do not meet Amy and Michelle’s discerning standards. Finances are not the only area where you can be too picky. It can be any quality on your list. Have your standards, but don’t be so rigid that you find the right partner and then miss them because of something small.
POTENTIAL VS LAZINESS
When you are trying to find the right partner, you must understand the difference between potential and lazy behavior. Standards are what will ensure that you do not fall in love with a lazy person. Standards are important, but do not lose sight of potential because of your standards.
Let’s be honest. No one wants a lazy partner (unless you’re just as lazy). Most people are trying to improve their lives, so they want someone who can go out and strive to be better just like them. If you’re aiming to be the CEO of a company, you’re probably not going to be a good fit for someone who’s content eating a burger at a fast food restaurant. This statement doesn’t mean one job is better than the other. Instead, it reflects a nearly insurmountable gap in career goals.
However, don’t make the mistake of letting go of someone who doesn’t show future potential. They may not have it now, but they may be working hard to become successful .
MISTAKE #3: IGNORING INTUITION
Unfortunately, people often ignore intuition. In fact, this is why so many bad relationships happen. You have probably heard about women’s intuition many times throughout your life, but men have great intuition too. Intuition is some part of your subconscious that tells you that this person is not the one. There will be a sickening feeling that you cannot get rid of.
Many people choose to ignore their intuition. Some people marry their partner even though that intuition has been there throughout the entire relationship. That’s when the worst usually happens—after you’ve said, “I do.”
WHY PEOPLE IGNORE THEIR Intention
Unfortunately, many people of both sexes ignore this intuition because they like the person so much. The results can be very disappointing and sometimes even destructive. Most people know this, but they still silence this inner voice.
When it comes to dating, it can be frustrating to find someone who seems so perfect, but you have to face the fact that there is only one very important thing: your intuition should tell you whether this is the right person or not. This is especially true if you have had trouble finding the right person. Frustration hurts and can make you feel like you will never find the right partner.
Another reason why people tend to ignore their intuition is because society tends to condition you to ignore it. According to Dr. Lindsay K. Pratt, LMHC, NCC, a licensed mental health counselor, trusting your intuition is a skill that needs to be practiced and developed daily. If you don’t trust yourself every day, that could be why you’re ignoring your gut feeling when it comes to dating.
It’s important to listen to your gut, not just in dating but in almost everything in life. When a potential partner is wrong, you’ll know it. Finding out early can save you and the other person from getting hurt and will allow you to find the right partner.
