Reasons why spouses feel like strangers after years of marriage. Are you and your spouse as close as you were on your wedding day, or have you become strangers? Marriage is the joining of two souls together to share your life and dreams. At first, everything goes so well, as you spend romantic dinners and every free moment together. However, as the years go by, you will find that you will go through joys and sorrows, and things can take a dramatic turn. One minute they are the best couple in the world, and the next minute you are ready to pack your bags and go wherever your eyes take you.
Even on a good day, marriage is complicated. Why do so many marriages fail? You hear the divorce statistics, and they terrify anyone who is thinking about walking down the aisle.
The person you’ve been with for years, who has helped you through good times and bad and watched you grow in life, is now a stranger to you? You’re not alone, as this is a common occurrence for couples who have been together for many years.
1. SEVERE LACK OF COMMUNICATION
When something exciting happens in your life, who do you text or call to tell? Your spouse should be number one on speed dial. If you stop communicating, it can lead to a breakup. People who stop communicating with each other find someone to confide in, and many relationship breakdowns start because one party is simply looking for someone to talk to about their life.
2. YOU BRING YOUR DISAPPOINTMENTS WITH YOU
It’s easy to take your frustrations out on those closest to you. You can quickly become a stranger if all you do is use your spouse as a punching bag. They will avoid spending time with you and will stay away from you. You can’t let your frustrations spill over into your home life. This is one way to push the other person away. Leave all the work drama at the door and don’t let it interfere with your relationship, or you’ll soon have no relationship at all. At the end of the work day, take some time to unplug from your work problems. A quick 5-minute meditation session or doing some visualization techniques can signal to your brain that it’s time to switch to a positive state.
3. LACK OF ATTACHMENT HAS FORMED
There is no specific reason why a lack of affection can cause so many negative things. However, one day you wake up and realize that your partner is no longer the most important thing in your life. You can’t touch them, and the feelings you once had are gone. Fixing this situation will take work. Luckily, you recognize the problem — check off the first step on the list. It’s time to make reconnecting with your partner your top priority. Ask them questions — there are many. Get to know your partner again and allow yourself to fall in love again.
4. YOU STOP DATING.
Life can’t be all work and no play. Dating should never stop when you move in together or get married. There should still be special moments between the two of you where you let go of life’s worries and have fun. Find a romantic spot and treat your partner to an unforgettable evening. Make plans based on their favorite activities, showing that you appreciate their preferences.
5. YOU ARE MARRIED TO YOUR JOB
Your job is important, but it dominates your entire life. You must make time for each other. Many people become strangers because they see each other so little. Even if you work long hours to advance in your career, prioritize your time with your spouse. If you work long hours, your spouse probably misses your company, and this can lead to problem number six.
6. YOU JUST FEEL LIKE A STRANGER.
Time changes people, and you can quickly drift apart. After you go through a few life challenges, your worldview and personality can change. You can change so much that you are just a reflection of what was before, and you are no longer the same person you were before you met.
Try to find something in common between you. Focusing on what still connects you is an important starting point.
7. NONE OF YOU ARE MOVING IN THE SAME DIRECTION.
It is difficult to grow together when you are both going in opposite directions. If you want to live in a big city and your spouse does not want to leave the small town you live in, how can you maintain a good relationship if you have different priorities and goals in life? Physical distance is not always a problem, but emotional distance can destroy a relationship. Make sure that you are both going in the same direction and pursuing similar goals. Sit down and openly discuss adjusting your goals to match your dreams.
8. YOU ARE FACED WITH FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
Money problems are a big problem. If you are constantly struggling with overspending or not having enough money to pay your bills, it can get really bad very quickly. Don’t turn every conversation about finances into an argument. First, most couples have money problems. Don’t blame each other or point fingers. Second, learn to budget your spending and stick to it! If you need a more analytical look at your finances, consult a financial planner. They can help you develop a spending plan that will help you get out of debt.
9. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY FIGHTING
It’s easy to become a stranger when all you do is argue and fight. The other person may want to avoid you so there won’t be any more fights and arguments.
Choose your words and choose your language wisely. Your comments may cause a rift between you and your spouse. Remember, you can’t take back what you’ve said to them. If you need time to formulate what to say, step away for a few minutes. Review your wording, and then come back to the discussion.
10. THE ROMANCE IS GONE
Are you still making love? Do you still kiss in the morning and before bed at night? When romance dies without a medical reason, something is wrong in your relationship. How can you keep the fire going when there is no spark? Maybe you still remember the butterflies you felt when you first met your partner. Bring back the romance by courting your spouse. It may seem silly at first, but treating it like a new relationship can help you decide if the spark is still there.
11. YOU HAVE BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT
Over the years, you will both do things to each other that can cause resentment and bitterness. A healthy couple will learn to forgive these mistakes towards each other. However, many people allow these wounds to fester until they become fatal. If you seem distant, it may be because you have a lot of anger and hatred inside.
12. YOU FOUND SOMEONE NEW
Did you know that many people have emotional connections long before they enter into a physical relationship? One of the reasons why your spouse may be a stranger to you is because you are in love with someone else. If you are running to another man or woman to talk about your life and dreams, then you are already close to ending your relationship.
If you want to save your relationship, it’s time to admit your cheating and seek out a relationship counselor to help you repair your relationship. If you don’t want to ruin this relationship, your partner deserves to know the truth. Yes, you’ll hurt them, but they deserve your honesty.
13. YOU DO SOMETHING INDIVIDUALLY, NOT AS A PAIR
Do you plan your free time, but it doesn’t include your spouse? Perhaps you go on holiday with friends instead of your partner. If you find yourself sitting in a restaurant eating alone or sleeping alone in a double bed, then theoretically you are already strangers.
