This man has come into your life for a reason. A man is a woman’s mirror. In general, all people are our mirrors, but men in particular. Whether we want it or not, a partner’s actions are feedback on the signals we send. Every person we meet on our way is a teacher. And your man has come into your life for a reason! Through representatives of the male sex, we learn the most important and, at times, the most difficult lessons, and there is only one specialty: love and self-acceptance.
We can give love to another person only when we have it ourselves. We cannot give another what we do not have. Your man is always your mirror; remember that! He only reflects what is in you. Recently, I heard from one woman that I am ready to try only for a worthy man… Do you hear yourself? What is a worthy man?
Any man who was attracted to you, was attracted to you, and will be attracted to you is a man worthy of you. The concept of “worthy” is very relative, because everyone is worthy of their own. You are worthy of exactly what is attracted to you. If only weak-willed wimps or mama’s boys are attracted to you, this is neither good nor bad; it is just a fact. A fact that shows what you are ready to accept into your life today and now. The man who comes into your life mirrors all your internal problems outward. And you can use this knowledge to look at yourself with new eyes, eyes from the outside.
Let’s look at the most common situations.
If a jealous man has come into your life, you should learn to redirect your sexual energy into creativity, since a jealous man will never appear in the life of a girl who has worked through the issue of her sexuality.
If a tyrant has come into your life, then it’s time for you to learn to listen to yourself, because women who live with tyrants are women who have completely erased the understanding of what boundaries are, and this has turned them into victims. They feel unhappy, lonely, and abandoned by everyone. “My husband is a tyrant, the weather is bad, and others have joy in life, but I was deprived, apparently, such is my fate, to endure and suffer.”
Accordingly, a man either puts a woman in her place with his behavior or teaches this woman to respect herself, restores the structure of her personality, highlights the “victim” program, and teaches her to defend boundaries and the ability to stand up for herself. Another man simply cannot teach such a girl to start listening to herself. The victim needs to experience severe pain so that she finally wants to change something in her life.
If a man who is an alcoholic or an addict comes to you, then it is not just like that that he was drawn into your life.
And you chose him for something. To learn some important lessons. What does such a man teach? Let’s imagine how a woman behaves in such a couple: she either constantly “nags” him and thereby kills all his masculinity at the root or is in the state of “poor thing”, who is the most unlucky in life, and everyone owes her.
And the husband drinks, and there is little money, and the children are slackers. It is all sadness and sorrow. Accordingly, such a man teaches her in the first situation—feminity—”signals” ” to her that—just as she killed her feminine nature or some important part of herself, so he kills himself with alcohol/drugs and escapes from reality; or, in the second situation, he teaches her self-love, respect, and, first of all, for herself, growing up, the ability to take responsibility for her life and for the events happening in it.
If in your life there is a mama’s boy, a weak-willed, spineless gentleman
Then you belong to that category of girls who do not know how to hand over the reins of power to the stronger sex. You decide everything yourself, you know everything better than anyone else, and you change everyone. You do not notice, but most often your scandals arise on the basis that you want to change a person but never listen to him. And, yes, now you will deny it.
If a person has come into your life who feeds you with promises and is always hanging out with friends in the most party places of the city/planet, who speaks beautifully, and you are in love with his style, his manner of living, and revel in grief, “When will you calm down, and we will live together and peacefully?” The answer is never. Such a person has come into your life to tell you: “Start to value yourself!
Why are you happy that we play by my rules and are you ready to adapt all the time? I disappeared for two months, and you still accept me because I fed you with beautiful words? You are not appreciated here. If you adapt to me now, then even when a worthy man comes into your life who loves you with all his heart, after some time he will stop appreciating you, because you have a habit of adapting in your head.”
There are many more such relationship scenarios that can be listed, but let’s go back to the beginning of the article. What does it mean—”I” will try only for a worthy man”? A priori, you should try not for someone and not for the sake of someone, because your development is at stake; you try in any relationship only for yourself.
If there is a man in your life, ask yourself honestly, am I worthy of another? And for what qualities can I now be given a prince on a white horse? You understand that the prince will not be with a girl who has a bunch of cockroaches and manias. All this needs to be worked through. People do not learn to drive a car at the wheel of a Ferrari.
There is such a concept as the “shadow part of personality”—these are the qualities that we do not recognize in ourselves, do not see, do not accept; they are in us, but for our consciousness, they are shrouded in shadow. Thus, mirrors can be directed and reversed.
Direct mirror:
The quality that irritates you in someone is in you. You just don’t see it; you don’t want to notice it. For example, your husband is lazy, lies on the couch, and does nothing. This simply brings you to the boiling point, which means that this same laziness is in you. You are also lazy, and you really want to lie down and lie on the couch and look at the ceiling, but you simply cannot allow yourself to do this because in childhood you were taught to be strong and not to lie around just like that, or you have never done this at all, You live in terrible stress and an endless race—work, home, children, school, cleaning, etc.
What does this mean? This does not mean that you need to lie down with your husband and abandon everything; just accept, “Yes, somewhere deep down I am still lazy and even worse than my husband,” and allow this quality to manifest itself at least sometimes: arrange for yourself a rest, just lie down, go to a massage, consciously be lazy, and relax.
Reverse mirror:
Find the quality that irritates you in a man and see if you have it in the opposite sign. For example, a man is a weakling, which means you are strong, you have taken on a lot, and you need to learn to be weak. An irresponsible man, which means you are hyper-responsible, you control everything and cannot relax or trust; a man is a liar—you are fixated on the truth, and you constantly need proof and confirmation; there is no faith; a greedy man—you are too stingy, first of all, with yourself, stingy with love, emotions, time… is the principle clear?
When you realize all this in yourself, firstly, you will accept these qualities, or at least begin to accept them, and secondly, you will simply rise above this, understanding that you are something more. When we recognize these qualities in ourselves, then men change, or their behavior stops bothering us.
In general, everything in the world is arranged according to the mirror principle. Our entire environment is our reflection. With the help of other people, you can easily see what is in you. If you are unhappy with your environment or your work, you are unhappy with yourself first. Our attitude towards ourselves coincides with our attitude towards the people around us. And people, in turn, reflect our idea of ourselves.
What is inside me is outside. Our inner world attracts the inner worlds of other people. Therefore, if everyone around you is feeling bad, sad, or depressed, then the same thing is happening inside you. And if you are surrounded by bright, kind, loving people, then you are the same; it’s very simple! Work on yourself; the world around you and the people will change.
All this is not written to make you feel like the hero of the occasion, but to feel how a woman can change everything on her own if she wants to. And even cheating is not a pathology, and gigolos are not taboo. This is what will help a woman reconsider herself and eventually do something if the woman wants it.
You have already understood that the basis of all the lessons that men bring us is a return to our feminine nature. Because most women have such imbalances (in fact, these are malicious viral programs passed on to women from generation to generation): either we go into male energies, and any man next to such an “Iron Lady” lies down on the couch, sits on her neck, does nothing, drinks himself to death, or starts cheating. Or we are in the position of a victim and sigh about our hard lot, and the man acts as a domestic tyrant or commits vile acts. The universe is trying to make you see reason through him. Through all these (and other) types of men, the Universe says :
“Become a woman! Learn to love yourself and start appreciating life, because you didn’t come here to suffer! You are a Woman! Where is the fluidity of water and acceptance of a man? Where is the flame of passion? Where is the warmth of the hearth? Where is the veneration and respect for a man? Where is wisdom and stature? Where is beauty, tenderness, lightness, and joy? Where is Faith? Here, take a man to match you—this is your “trainer for revealing femininity”, Please learn.”
But we don’t hear this; we break off the relationship, meet a new man, and then the same thing happens again, sometimes even worse, and so on in a vicious circle. I will always be for the fact that changes should start with the Woman. Everything starts with he because she is the space. Before shifting responsibility to the man, look at yourself; he is only your reflection. The Internet is full of popular pages about how to manipulate a man and get gifts from him. I am not talking about this. I am talking about respect and love for yourself, about faith and acceptance of a man, about the joy and light of life!
Yes, it is painful, It is painful to change yourself, and it is even more painful to realize that “I,” through my attitudes, virus programs only destroy my life… But, strangely enough, we need “Pain”. I realized this when I began to grow and develop myself. Pain in relationships is an integral companion of two adult partners building relationships and creating a family.
I know many men and women who cannot stand the pain, and as soon as difficulties begin in a relationship, they cannot stand it and choose to end the relationship and soon “jump” into a new relationship, thinking that everything will be different there and they will not have to worry! But it was not so! At first, everything goes chocolate and wonderful (the stage of falling in love), and then invariably comes the stage of quarrels, grinding in, criticism, and swearing, and again comes the same pain from which they ran away in the previous union. So is there any point in running in circles?
Always ask yourself: What does this situation teach me? Why did it happen? What do I need to take away from myself? Then you will not get an outflow of energy, but you will take away your resource.
So why do we run from pain or think that it should not be? Very often, to continue life, including family life, you need to go through fire, water, and copper pipes; this will be a hardening for the relationship and your growth. Do not be afraid of this. Any relationship is difficult. And if you start a relationship with the thought that you can finally relax and enjoy, then disappointment will be inevitable. You need to be prepared for the fact that it will be difficult, but meet these difficulties as a chance to become closer, help each other, and become comrades.
A loved one is not someone you can enjoy 100% of the time. A loved one is someone for whom you are ready to overcome difficulties and change. Someone you accept completely, without a trace!
