Relationships are often described as a journey, a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs, twists, and turns. But in recent times, a new concept has emerged: treating love like work. This idea challenges the traditional notion of love as something effortless and natural, proposing instead that it requires dedication, commitment, and sometimes, even scheduling. In this article, we delve into the concept of “Jour Fixe” in relationships and explore whether it’s beneficial or detrimental to treat our love lives like work.
The Concept of Treating Love Like Work
Explaining the term “Jour Fixe”
“Jour Fixe” is a term borrowed from the business world, referring to a regular fixed meeting time, often used by teams or departments to discuss ongoing projects, address challenges, and plan future strategies. In the context of relationships, it involves setting aside dedicated time for partners to connect, communicate, and work on their relationship.
Comparing relationships to work dynamics
By likening relationships to work dynamics, proponents of this approach argue that just like a successful career requires effort, dedication, and investment, so does a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. It suggests that love, like any other aspect of life, requires active participation and intentional effort to thrive.
Pros of Treating Love Like Work
Establishing routine and commitment
One of the primary benefits of treating love like work is the establishment of a routine and commitment. By scheduling regular check-ins or “Jour Fixe” meetings, couples create a dedicated space to focus on their relationship, fostering a sense of security and stability.
Effective communication and problem-solving
Another advantage is the promotion of effective communication and problem-solving. Just as teams in the workplace collaborate to overcome challenges and achieve common goals, couples can use structured meetings to address issues, express needs, and find solutions together.
Achieving mutual goals and growth
Treating love like work also facilitates the setting and pursuit of mutual goals and growth. By aligning their visions for the future and working towards shared objectives, couples can strengthen their bond and experience personal and relational development.
Cons of Treating Love Like Work
Risk of losing spontaneity and passion
Despite its benefits, there are also drawbacks to treating love like work. One concern is the risk of losing spontaneity and passion in the relationship. Scheduling every interaction and activity can lead to a sense of predictability and monotony, potentially dampening the excitement and romance.
Emotional exhaustion and burnout
Another downside is the potential for emotional exhaustion and burnout. Constantly focusing on improving the relationship and addressing issues can be draining, especially if it feels like a never-ending task, leading to feelings of resentment or disillusionment.
The strain on individual autonomy and freedom
Additionally, treating love like work can strain individual autonomy and freedom. The rigid structure imposed by scheduled meetings and goal-oriented behavior may leave little room for spontaneity, personal pursuits, or individual growth, leading to feelings of suffocation or constraint.
Finding a Balance: Incorporating Work Dynamics in Love
Despite the challenges, it’s possible to find a balance between treating love like work and preserving its spontaneity and passion. This involves:
- Setting boundaries and expectations: Establishing clear boundaries and expectations around the “work” aspect of the relationship can help prevent it from overshadowing other aspects of life.
- Flexibility and adaptability: Being open to spontaneity and adapting to changing circumstances allows couples to enjoy the benefits of structure without sacrificing the joy of unpredictability.
- Prioritizing self-care and personal fulfillment: Remembering to prioritize self-care and pursue individual interests outside of the relationship ensures that both partners maintain their sense of identity and fulfillment.
