We never dated. We never took things to the next level. We never came forward with how we felt. And yet I have never felt more in love in my entire life.
I feel like you’re the one. You know, out of all the people in my life, it’s you whom I can picture my future with. It’s only you with whom I look forward to growing old. That’s how you make me feel.
The truth is, I know I shouldn’t love you. We’re two worlds apart. And I’ve been warned about you, my friends told me not to get my hopes up, they told me to not wait, to move on. Well, I’m living proof that some things are easier said than done. And I’m also living proof that when the mind talks, the heart doesn’t always listen.
See, when I admit to being in love with you—a person who doesn’t see me like that—nobody understands why. I hardly do. Actually, I don’t understand any of this. I don’t understand how love works and why I’m so in love with you.
It’s crazy and stupid and maybe I’m just a bit naive but I don’t care. My heart wants what it wants.
Maybe because we’re comfortable with being ourselves around each other.
Maybe it’s because we’re each other’s safe haven.
Maybe because I’m always here for you and you’re always there for me.
Maybe because opposites attract.
Either way, my heart has chosen and there isn’t much I can do now to change it.
To be honest, I’m not even trying to stop myself from loving you. Because I feel like you like me too. I feel like you want more too. But it’s like you’re saving us for a better time. It’s like you’re afraid to mess up this what we have now. And I get that.
Here’s the point: I’m not going anywhere. But I’m no longer waiting for you either. I’m no longer waiting for something I’m not even sure is gonna happen. There are so many what ifs that are haunting me down and I can’t keep putting my life on hold for you. Yes, love is an amazing thing but it’s also something that will kill you if it’s not reciprocated.
I will never stop hoping that one day my dreams will come true. I will never stop wishing it’s me who you finally choose to call your girl. But I’m also done waiting for it to happen.
Continue treating me like I’m your girl. Continue behaving like everything is okay, like it’s all normal and like there isn’t an elephant in the room. Keep hugging me like I’m your everything and keep calling me beautiful. But until you let me in, until you tell me how you truly feel about me, I’m donebegging for your attention.
Continue choosing other girls and trying to make it work with them and I’ll continue to support you. I’ll keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt when I say I’m happy or when I tell her how lucky she is to have you. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to pick up the broken pieces. But don’t expect me to put my life on hold for you. Don’t expect me to stay put as my life flashes before my eyes while I’m waiting for you. Because I’m done being just a mere observer from now on.
I’m not saying that I’m done with you. My door will always be open for you. I’ll always have that hope deep in my heart that you want me as much as I want you. I’ll always dream of our future together and I’ll always be looking forward to a moment when you’ll realize that we’re meant to be.
I’ll always be waiting for us to write another chapter of our story with a totally different twist. But I’m not putting my life on hold anymore.
I’m right here if you want me. I won’t go anywhere. I’ll always love you. But I won’t be here forever.
