Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like you didn’t know whether to stay or go? Many people experience this at times in relationships — in fact, if you’ve ever dated anyone before, you’ve probably felt like you were stuck in this weird situation at some point. It can be hard to deal with.

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You know you love and care for the man you’re with, but at the same time, you can’t help but wonder a little if there is someone else out there who might be better for you. Or maybe those little things that seemed so endearing in the beginning of the relationship are starting to become irritating instead, and you don’t know whether this is just the natural transition out of the “honeymoon phase” or if you’re not actually as compatible as you once thought.

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Maybe you’re not the one who is considering a break — maybe it’s him. Either way, if a break is on your mind, don’t dismiss the feeling. You two will need to decide the best way to handle it. Here are 10 signs that he wants to take a break, and 10 signs that she should beat him to the punch.

He Wants A Break: He’s Been Acting Distant

Sometimes, you can just tell when someone is being a little, well, distant.

According to Vixen Daily, the best approach is not to hassle him about it. Let him deal with his issues, because they might not have anything to do with you.

However, if he seems to have lost interest in all of the fun things you guys typically enjoyed doing together, going down a new path might be on his mind. 

19She Should Speak Up: She Needs Some Time Alone

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “Wow, I could really use a little space,” you might be headed for a break in your relationship. Many women do tend to jump from one relationship to the next without time to be alone. It’s totally understandable—who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with? It’s just human nature. But sometimes, we all need a little time to ourselves. It’s so important for our growth as people.

Being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. It can also mean being independent and learning more about who you really are on your own.

18He Wants A Break: He Rarely Makes Time For Dates

No matter how long you two have been dating, making time for date nights is always crucial. According to Huffington Post, planning regular dates is pretty much essential for any long term relationship, even a marriage, because it’s about investing in the relationship.

You shouldn’t stop “dating” even after you’re married. But if a guy doesn’t seem to have any interest in taking you on dates anymore, it is definitely a major red flag. If you’ve noticed that this is the case in your relationship, there is a good chance that he is considering going on a break, and he is probably losing some of his initial interest.

17She Should Speak Up: She Feels Like She Comes Second To His Friends

Look, even when you are in a relationship, it’s important to maintain close friendships—your significant other should not be your whole world. However, if you always feel like you are coming in second to your significant other’s friends, there could be a problem brewing.  

As Bustle reports, an example of how your partner might be putting your friends higher than you on his list of priorities is if he can plan big things like vacations with his friends, but he can never make plans with you.

Of course, you need to have balance between your relationship and your friends, and sometimes, that means just spending time with your friends without your significant other around. But if he is always putting his friends ahead of you, it might be because he misses the single life and is considering taking a break.

16He Wants A Break: He Talks About His Ex More Often

It’s totally possible to be friends with an ex—within reason, of course. The ex should obviously never come before the current significant other. Being friends is fine, but if it seems like there are lines being crossed, that is a problem. And if you thought that things were going well, but then he suddenly started bringing up his ex all the time? It means that he either misses her, or he was never quite over her in the first place—and either way, there is a pretty good chance that he wants to take a break. 

15She Should Speak Up: She Doesn’t Look Forward To Date Night

So, it’s definitely a problem if the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem enthusiastic about going on dates anymore—but what if you’re actually the one who doesn’t get excited for date night? This could be a sign that your attraction to your man is slipping. And sometimes, it could just mean that you two need to start coming up with more creative ideas for dates. But other times, it means that it is time for you to bring up the idea of a break. Things might not just be stale—they might actually be over for good.

14He Wants A Break: He Isn’t Sure If He Sees A Future With Her

When you’re young and you start dating someone, it’s okay if you have no idea whether or not you will ever get married—that’s totally normal. But, at a certain point you need to be honest with yourself about whether or not you really see a future with your partner. It’s not fair to string someone along for years and years if you don’t think you’ll really be together forever. If he expresses that he is feeling unsure about the possibility of your future, then a break might be a good idea. You might just need time apart.

13She Should Speak Up: She Is Feeling Disrespected

Have you ever been with a partner you loved so much, but he just didn’t treat you the way that you deserved? If so, don’t feel bad about it—almost everyone has experienced this at some point in life. It’s just part of growing up and learning how you really deserve to be treated. If you’re feeling disrespected in any way, you should at the very least talk to your man about taking a break. Maybe he does not realize what he has in front of him. He needs a wakeup call! 

12He Wants A Break: He Seems To Miss Having Time To Himself

Some men neglect their own personal growth because of relationships. They might be scared to be alone, or they might just feel awkward when they’re single and don’t have a partner to lean on. But if he is always talking about how he misses having time to himself, it’s a pretty strong sign that he is ready to take a break from the relationship for the time being.

11She Should Speak Up: He Doesn’t Seem To Listen The Way He Used To

What is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romance? The answer is communication. A crucial part of healthy communication is simply listening to each other, and sometimes that means doing so without becoming defensive, as Thought Catalog points out.

If you feel like your boyfriend can’t seem to listen to you when you bring up issues that are really bothering you, he brushes off your concerns or becomes angry with you for airing them, then he might have a break on his mind. And, if this is the case, then trust us, you are probably better off taking that break before making any major decisions about him.

10He Wants A Break: He Sometimes Ignores Her Texts And Calls

Does your significant other have to answer the phone immediately every time you text or call him? Nope, that would be expecting way too much. But, if your man doesn’t ever seem to answer your texts or calls within a reasonable amount of time, it could be a warning sign that something bigger is going wrong.

Look, getting him to answer you shouldn’t feel like such a big project.

If he is always ignoring your texts or calls, it might be because he is re-evaluating his feelings on the relationship as a whole, and he might be considering a break.

9She Should Speak Up: Her Friends See Some Red Flags From Him

Sometimes, your friends might not like your boyfriend. In fact, some of them might even have doubts about him. If many of your friends seem to be spotting a few red flags, it might be time to reconsider some things. As Elite Daily points out, there are some times when you should listen to your friends, such as if they’ve caught your partner in unfaithful behaviour or he’s mean to you.

It’s time to ask yourself some questions. Is your partner really treating you right? Or did you just rush into his arms because you felt lonely? Telling him that it is time to take a break might help you find the answers to these important questions.

8He Wants A Break: He Doesn’t Seem Invested In Their Conversations

Once again, we have to acknowledge that really listening to each other is such an important part of any serious relationship. If a man does not seem truly emotionally invested in your conversations, it’s a sign that he has mentally checked out of your relationship.

Sometimes, the relationship can be salvaged at this point. Sometimes, it can’t. Either way, he is probably going to float the idea of taking a break soon enough. And if this is happening in your relationship, a break is probably the best thing for both of you. 

7She Should Speak Up: She Never Feels Truly Loved

Even if a man treats you right, sometimes you just might not feel totally loved. According to Bustle, we all speak different love languages, and some gestures might mean more to some people than others. This could explain why you could be with the nicest guy in the world, but if he just doesn’t fully “get” your love language, you could be in for a world of trouble down the line. It can be hard to deal with this, but if you are feeling this way, you definitely need to say something, and taking a break could be the best decision.

6He Wants A Break: He Doesn’t Surprise Her Anymore

Even if you have been together for 10 years, the surprises should never stop! This goes along with continuing to “date” the person you are committed to, as though you are two people falling in love for the first time. Those little surprises are so important to keeping you both on your toes, and when the surprises stop, it could mean that the romance has started to fizzle out. It’s so sad when this happens, but it could mean that he has been taking you for granted. He might need a break to figure out his feelings.

5She Should Speak Up: She Misses The Way Things Were

Sometimes, two people fall in love, and at first, they’re head over heels for each other, but as time goes on, the feeling starts to fade.

Some of this is just the natural end of the honeymoon phase, but it can also happen because two people haven’t been putting effort into showing their love for each other.

If you feel like this is going on in your relationship, you need to speak up — and taking a break might be just the thing that makes you realize how much you mean to each other.

4He Wants A Break: His Friends Start Acting Weird Around Her

So, what if he seems to be acting pretty normal, but something still feels a little off whenever you are around his friends? Do they treat you like you’re someone special, or does it seem like they’re brushing you off?

How a man’s friends treat you can tell you a lot about how he is actually feeling about your relationship, including the things he does not have the guts to say out loud.

As stated by Madame Noire, his friends will treat you like gold if they know you’re The One in his eyes, such as by siding with you and planning a future with you. 

On the other hand, if they’re giving you the cold shoulder, it could be because he is about to ask if you think it’s time for a break.

3She Should Speak Up: She Feels Unwelcome Around His Crew

This ties right back into the previous point about his friends acting a bit “off” around you. It’s important for a woman to speak up if she feels like her man’s friends are not truly respecting her. And if they don’t seem to get the message? Well, it might be a sign that she should push for a break. If a guy’s friends don’t seem to totally respect his girl, it is his responsibility to shut that down—and if he can’t seem to bring himself to do that, a break is definitely the next big step.

2He Wants A Break: He Just Isn’t Affectionate Anymore

Sometimes, you can just tell when a man doesn’t feel as strongly about you anymore. He doesn’t lean in to kiss you as often, he doesn’t put his arm around your shoulders, he doesn’t reach over to hold your hand as you walk down the street, and so on. When a guy just stops being affectionate, it’s hard to feel like you’re really on the same page. It’s especially a red flag if you try to reach for his hand or reach in for a kiss and he moves away. 

1She Should Speak Up: She Doesn’t Feel The Spark Anymore

It happens to almost every long term couple—one day, you realize that there isn’t much of a spark anymore. What happens after that is really what determines whether or not you truly love each other and can survive as a couple. And if that spark just never seems to come back, no matter what you do? Well, at the very least, at that point it is time for a break, if not a break up. If you feel like he’s not putting in any effort to keep the spark alive, it’s in your best interest to take some time to yourself.