YOUR DRUG ADDICTION IS NOT A DISEASE
How many times do I need to tell you that your drug addiction is not a disease?
Why should I get to the end of my nerves trying to explain that YOU are the one who is guilty of all the crap that happens to you?
You see, we all have choices, and you made your own. You decided to be a drug addict because it is much easier to cope with life problems when you are high. Since it was you who did this, stop blaming others because your life sucks and because you don’t have enough money for cocaine. Don’t pretend that you are a victim.
You know what you are? You are a coward! You just want to live a good life without any problems, but in all that mess, you forgot that you are making it hard for everyone else to live, including me. Do you know what it feels like to see your loved one taking drugs? Do you know how it hurts when you don’t want to listen to me?
I will tell you—it hurts like hell, but for some reason, I am still here with you. I am still fighting to take you out of this living hell. I still want the old you. The clean you. Because when you shoot up, you are not the same person anymore. You insult me, you steal money from me, and I bet you would sell me just to get an extra shot. That’s what drugs made you look like.
Sometimes, when you are clean, you promise me that you will never take drugs anymore. You tell me that I am what is most important in your life. And that story ends the same moment I let you alone. I don’t know what happens to you, but you always chose drugs over me. And that is tearing my heart. So. next time you feel sick after taking drugs, don’t come to me. Because I am sick and tired of you. I am sick and tired of repeating the same story over and over again. And all that is in vain.
You chose to smoke weed!
You chose to take heroin!
You chose to take prescription pills!
You are guilty of everything—YOU, YOU, YOU!
You already made your own choice, so don’t come to me with that puppy look trying to make me feel sorry for you. You chose drugs over the healthy life, so don’t think I will buy your story about being a victim. The only victim in this story is me. I tried so hard to get you out of this. I spend so many sleepless nights waiting for you to come.
While you were losing your breath in sleep, I was the one who was beating your chest so you can breathe. I was the shocked one. The one who lost herself because of you. I was there when you needed me, but the harsh truth is that you weren’t there when I needed you.
And I can’t live like this anymore.
So, my dear, this is your wakeup call!
You need to get your shit together if you want to stay with me.
Taking drugs is not an option, so you can choose between the two of us. If you choose me, I will keep on helping you to go through this. And if you choose drugs, at least I will know you have never loved me.
But this is something I need to hear from you. Your words will be like taking off the bandage. If you do it quickly, it won’t hurt me so bad. So, please do it fast. I can handle the truth, I am a big girl now. Don’t be afraid to tell me that you want drugs over me. Don’t be afraid to admit that the drugs are what keeps you alive. I will try to understand you—I swear I will. But that day I will kill all my emotions for you.
You won’t be the man I love the most in the world. You will just be an ugly memory and a lesson of my life. That day I will give up on you. I will start a new life while you will crawl in front of me begging me to stay. But I won’t listen to you. I will have realized that you can’t provide me with a life I deserve. And I deserve so much more than you can give me.
Next time, when you see me happy far away from you, bear in mind that YOU had a choice. You could have stayed with me and enjoyed the life you deserve, but after all, you chose to be a drug addict—the man all people will feel sorry for when they see him begging for some money to buy his next dope.
Everyone will feel sorry for you because they think you are a victim. What they don’t know is that you are just a man who gave up on his life the first time he took drugs.
And this time, baby, I am giving up on you! Forever!