You Can’t Control Who You Miss But You Can Control Who Is In Your Life
When you miss someone you know you shouldn’t, you can’t help but feel guilty.
After everything this person has done to you and after all the pain they’ve caused you, it’s natural that you want them out of your life and system as soon as possible.
This is true for everyone who has abandoned you and especially for your ex boyfriends. After all, these were the men you wanted to share your life with and the people you loved the most.
This goes for all those guys who broke your heart, who led you on, or who walked away from you without looking back.
For all the guys who didn’t want to label your relationship, who ghosted you, and who left you hanging.
Or are we talking about a specific man? A man you can’t get out of your head, as much as you try?
Either way, the bottom line is the same: You feel like by missing him, you’re betraying yourself.
You’re giving him even more power over your heart and soul. You’re giving him meaning and purpose.
After all, you’ve kicked him out of your life, so why can’t he be gone from your heart, as well?
Are you that weak that you don’t have the ability to see things clearly and to stop missing someone who doesn’t deserve your attention?
Well, the answer is: yes. Actually we all are.
There is no person alive who can control who they love and who they miss. Anyone who claims differently is lying.
So, you’re not an exception. Remember: you’re a human being made of flesh and blood – not a robot who can be programmed and whose emotions can be switched off and on.
Therefore, it’s perfectly natural that you can’t control your thoughts and feelings and that you don’t have the capacity to order your heart and mind around.
However, what you can control is who gets to be in your life. You can control who gets access to you and who gets to be honored by your presence.
You can control who you dedicate your time, energy, patience to.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that you should stop blaming yourself for missing someone.
I know that sometimes you feel crazy and you can’t believe that you still have feelings for the man who has hurt you so much.
However, it’s completely normal to feel this way. In fact, most women go through the same thing after a devastating breakup.
Trust me when I tell you that this is all a part of your recovery. This is just a phase of the moving on process.
So, don’t put yourself down for all the overwhelming emotions you feel. Don’t burden yourself for feeling the way you do.
Instead of seeing yourself as a weak woman, be proud of your strength. Be proud that you have the power to resist your urges, instincts, and heart’s desires.
After all, you’re not allowing this man back in your life, despite the fact that you miss him, are you? You’re not giving him a second chance, even though there are times when you feel like you’ll die without him by your side.
You’re not on this man’s doorstep, begging him to come back, despite the devastating pain that’s been killing you from the inside.
You’re not letting him see what an emotional wreck you actually are, and you are not giving him the satisfaction of knowing that you still have feelings for him.
That is what courage is all about. That is what inner strength means: fighting with yourself every single day and winning each one of those difficult battles.
So, keep on missing him – nobody can deny you that right. Miss the man and love him for as long as you want.
Don’t repress your emotions and don’t pretend that they don’t exist.
Learn how to live with them and as soon as you do, I promise you that they will be gone. As soon as you stop running away from your demons, I promise you that they will stop chasing you.