What Machiavellianism Really Is (And How It Can Hurt You)
Maybe you haven’t heard Machiavellianism discussed as much as narcissism or psychopathy but the truth is that this is a trait just as bad as those two are. The term comes from the Italian diplomat and writer Niccolo Machiavelli who wrote the book Il Principe (The Prince), which is considered to be one of the most important books on philosophy. In modern psychology, a Machiavellian is one of the dark triad personalities, along with narcissism and psychopathy. Also, Machiavellianism is considered to be a subclinical form of psychopathy.
You might be wondering what Machiavellians really are and how they function, right? Well, the most important characteristics of these people are that they are extremely calculated, cold, and focused on their own interests. They will use any means necessary to manipulate, exploit others and use them for their sick games. They are highly intelligent people and if they want something from you, they will definitely get it and you won’t even realize that they led you on. So, the questions are: “How to get rid of a partner with all these traits? What to do when you are in a love relationship with someone who is nothing more than a pure Machiavellian trying to satisfy his needs only?”
First of all, you need to know what the signs are so you can stay away from a person like this. Also, it is a known fact that these traits are more represented in men than in women. And so here are some signs that you are dealing with a Machiavellian and the ways to get rid of him.
1. He is only focused on his interests and prosperity
This means that a man like this won’t ask you what you want and what your wishes are. He will think that he is a more important human being than you because he is so good at social interaction and he knows how to deceive people. That’s why he will think only about the things that will get him good things and he won’t ask you what you think. Women who date men like this always end up broken and they totally lose themselves somewhere down the road.
How to deal with it? I know that a woman living with a man like this will probably stop believing in her own common sense but staying with a man like that and listening to all that he says is much more dangerous than getting rid of him. Every victim of a relationship like this should be prepared for so many mind games from his side that will eventually make her come back to him because he will hit her where she is most vulnerable. A man like this knows how to manipulate in ways where the other side won’t figure that out. So, whatever you do, your first action has to be to stay away from a man like this because unless you do so, chances are he will drag back with his own claws.
2. He will exploit and manipulate a partner to get what he wants
Similar to a narcissist, a true Machiavellian will manipulate and exploit his partner in order to get what he wants. No matter whether he wants money, sympathy or something else, his acting will be so good that he will get it at short notice. He is so damn good at what he does and he knows to pretend that he cares, when in fact he doesn’t give a damn. That is just him playing mind games and using tactics to show himself that he is capable of manipulation and deceiving people.
How to deal with it? You are probably thinking that there is no way out when you are stuck with someone like this but you need to know that you are strong enough to find a way out because by doing so you are doing yourself the biggest favor—you are saving your life. Staying with someone with this form of psychopathy will only result in being beaten to emotional death and losing yourself completely. So, if you see that something is not right and that you don’t feel comfortable like before, it is time to get away from a partner like this and no matter how much he will beg you, you shouldn’t go back to him if you want to save yourself from tears.
3. He will avoid commitment and emotional attachment
A man like this will never put a label on your relationship because he is not interested in doing so. He just wants you to be there so he can satisfy his sick needs and to play mind games with you. Every time you cry or suffer he will smile because he has a lack of empathy. In fact, he enjoys it when others are being hurt, including his romantic partner. He doesn’t know what real love is because he has never felt it.
How to deal with it? Some guys might be afraid of commitment at the beginning of the relationship but if that continues for a long time, you should know that a man like that doesn’t plan to put a ring on it. He just keeps you near him so he can exploit you and in that way, get the food for his soul. Too bad that the only way that he can be satisfied is by hurting you and to drain all the positive energy and life out of you. The most important thing is that you stay focused and that you know what you want and what you certainly don’t want. If you are not happy with someone, don’t let him convince you that you are the unlovable one because that is just a tactic he is using to keep you close. If you stay with him, he will shut you out every time and you will never truly be happy and fulfilled. So, move on while you still can and don’t let him treat you like you don’t deserve. Trust me, it is better to be alone than in bad company. In this case, he is the worst company you could have ever imagined.
4. He is prone to casual sexual intercourse
This is one of the most important traits of a Machiavellian. They are never faithful to only one woman but they think that they deserve to have all the most beautiful women who exist. They have such a high self-esteem and they don’t think that there are obstacles in anything they do. Confident as they are, they easily make contact with every woman they meet and in no time at all, every one of them gets in bed with him. They have killer pick-up lines and their charm and backstory make all women kneel in front of them. Once they get what they want, they get rid of each woman, just like that, and they move on to another victim.
How to deal with it? I know that it can be very difficult to see if someone is Machiavellian or not, especially if you just met that person. If you were deceived by a man like this, don’t think that you are guilty of anything because he is just such a good liar. What you need to know for the future are all those red flag signs that can warn you that someone has these traits. And once you learn all of them, watch out when you meet new people because if someone is rotten, they will pretend that they are someone they are not. In the end, if someone is so good at being a player, trust your own gut because it never gets it wrong.
The signs listed above are just the most common ones for Machiavellianism but there are so many others that can help you to spot a guy like that in time: Prioritizing money over a relationship, pretending to be charming and confident, lying and deceiving to get what he wants, flattering, lacking in principles and values, being cynical, acting as moral and caring about others, causing harm to others to get what he wants, being patient due to his calculating nature, rarely revealing his emotions and intentions, lack of social interactions, not being aware of the consequences of his actions and struggling to identify his true emotions.
Since Machiavellianism is one of the dark triads along with narcissism and psychopathy, it is often mistaken for one of them. But even though they are quite similar, there are some slight differences between them.
Machiavellianism is about manipulation for his personal prosperity and gain.
Narcissism is about believing that you deserve admiration and to be treated differently from the rest of the people.
Psychopathy is mostly about feeling cold and insensitive to other people’s needs and wishes.
While a narcissist will be jealous at the success of his love partner, someone with a Machiavellian personality will find it a good thing but only if they will gain something from it. For example, if a wife hits the jackpot, her Machiavellian partner won’t be jealous of her because it will be good for him as well. He will get enough money to use for his own dreams so his partner’s success in this situation is something that he will accept.
Also, a narcissist will sometimes show his emotions and he will be impulsive while a Machiavellian will put some distance between actions and his emotions. He is considered to be extremely calculative and cold to the things that happen around him and there are not many things that can make him break.
To conclude, this kind of a psychological disorder can harm every woman who gets close to a man like this. Not only will he make her do everything that he says but she will think that she is losing her sanity. She will be so weak that she will eventually trust his lies more than her own eyes and he will convince her that he is everything that she needs. A man like this is capable of making any woman lose herself while she is with him and to break her in a way where it will need a hell of a lot of time to heal again. That’s why any woman who gets in a situation like this should get away from her abuser as fast as she can because the longer she stays in a toxic relationship like that, the more difficult it will be to leave it. She should bear in mind that leaving something unhealthy is brave even if she stumbles a little on her way out of the door. If she is enough lucky and strong she will save herself, no matter how much time she will need to get where she wants to be.
And a Machiavellian?
He is just a weak man, one who needed to break a woman in order to feel powerful.
You keep saying he. A woman can be the same way.