When it comes to leaving an abusive relationship, everybody talks about it like it’s the easiest thing to do. They can all talk the talk but YOU walked the walk and I’m proud of you!
I want you to know that it doesn’t matter that it took you so long to find the courage to leave. It doesn’t matter if you went back a few times because he lured you back in with his lies that broke you and made you crumble under his vile pressure.
You’re the only one who knows how painful and humiliating it was hearing him tell you that you were ugly and unworthy. Telling you that you couldn’t leave because you wouldn’t be able to survive without him.
Telling you that nobody would want you, because he was afraid somebody would actually treat you better. Making fun of you for thinking that you could live without him, when in fact it was him who was scared of losing you, because he was the one who needed you.
Being in an abusive relationship fundamentally changes you in ways that you can’t even tell yourself. It takes a huge toll on you and you become a different person, without even being aware that it’s happening.
These heinous relationships and vile partners destroy you gradually from the inside out. You feel yourself slowly burning out… until one day, there is nothing left. You’ve burned out and you’re numb.
You become numb to the world, numb to emotions and you stop caring about yourself and what happens to you. What you’re going through is so unimaginably painful that you genuinely stop caring about what will happen and how it will end. You just need it to stop.
There is only so much pain one person is capable of enduring and whatever you did and however you coped with the abusive nature of your partner, it’s okay.
Whichever difficult choices you had to make, that you may not be proud of today, they are in no way a reflection of you as a person. They are the result of continuous abuse by a vicious man who had no right to do what he did to you.
If you’ve been there, I need you to know that it’s okay. You made it out. You’re in one piece and right now, that’s all that matters.
Whatever you had to resort to in order to get yourself here, it doesn’t matter. It got you out and that is something not a lot of people can say, so be proud of yourself.
It takes time before you learn to forget about what he put you through and what he made of you. It takes time to build yourself up again from the ground up.
It’s okay to feel lost right now. It’s okay to feel weak and even miss that person at times. Even though it was the worst kind of love… the feelings still need time to go away.
It’s going to take some time before you’re your own person again. Before you can look yourself in the mirror and recognize the woman you’re seeing.
For so long, you were leaning on the most destructive type of love, that right now you’re unsure of how to live without it.
Don’t feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling this way. There is no right way to cope with abuse. Let yourself go at the pace you’re comfortable with.
Don’t feel bad for thinking he would change. I know that is probably why you stayed that long but know that it’s okay. You believe in people, even when they don’t deserve it, and that is not something to be ashamed of.
You are so strong. Firstly, for enduring what you did and surviving the abuse and only you know exactly how brutal it was, and secondly, for walking away. The strength it took to finally leave shows just how tough and resilient you are.
You stayed for as long as you did because you believed in something.
You wanted to believe things would be better. You wanted to believe he would get the help he needed. You desperately wanted to believe that he wouldn’t resort to abuse ever again… but when you realized your hopes were in vain, you did the hardest thing–you left.
And wherever you are right now on your road to recovery, I want you to know I’m proud of you. You did the right thing. You did the brave thing. And for that, you deserve all the praise and reassurance in the world.
There are going to be days that will be so dark, you won’t find a reason to get up. There are going to be days where you will be questioning yourself and doubting your choices. There will be obstacles on your journey to healing and during those times, remember what you did.
Remember how brave and strong you were and be proud of yourself!
The pain you’re feeling right now is proof that you are on your way to getting your life back together. And with every step forward, you are ridding yourself of the hurt he left you with and regaining control of your life again.