However, if you’re worrying obsessively over things that you should not be stressing over, that may be harmful to your relationship. Then, there are also those times where we have our hearts and minds both thinking dissimilar things and should surely listen to our guts. The worries vary from relationship to relationship, and it is tough to not worry about a thing at all ― we get it ― but we want to make sure you’re aware of the difference between actual problems in the relationship and ones that you just create in your head. Many worries in a new relationship are normal, and when it comes to longer relationships, we worry if we will continue going strong. Let’s face it, as women, we worry a lot more then men do. If you feel like you’re in a relationship where you often find yourself fretting over things, read on to find out when you should take a few steps back, and when you should listen to your inner voice.
30Listen And Watch For Those Subtle Phone Signs
In a society where we are almost all dependent on technology, it obviously affects our relationships. There are some signs that your SO may be giving out through his phone habits that may set off alarms in your head that we suggest you follow. If his phone is always face down or if he’s tries to hide his screen from you when you’re hanging out, that might be a red flag. You may want to give into your doubts and question him about it, because he could possibly be hiding something.
29Listen When You No Longer Feel Confident
When you feel like you have a mini-you on your shoulder giving you advice, you should probably give in to it. You should perhaps be worrying about your relationship if you feel worse about yourself now than you did before. If suddenly you’re feeling self-conscious about yourself and your mind is telling you that this isn’t you, it is not lying. You should surely worry if you feel your relationship has wiped your confidence away.
28Listen To Those “Secrets”
Okay, so we all have our fair share of dirty little secrets, but when you’re in a relationship, things are different. Nothing shakes up the little voice inside us more than finding out he kept secrets from us. If you keep on finding out secrets about him, then it is safe to say you should be worrying, especially if what you’ve already discovered is detrimental to your relationship. If you find out he did things behind your back, you have every right to feel insecure about him.
27When You Feel It Gets Dull, Listen
The newness of a relationship is always fun; we can admit that things do change later on. If you’re one who always hears that little voice inside your head telling you that you feel like there is no more spark or you’re feeling neglected, you need to listen and discuss it with your partner. Relationships tend to settle into routine and they then sometimes end because of it, so if you’re feeling that way, you should speak up and let your partner know that you need more dates out together or more communication. If he’s not able to make that happen, listen.
26When He Compares You To Others
Every partnership should be worry-free, but there are certain things your SO may be doing or saying that will set off those doubts in your head. Some things can certainly be fixed, but if your partner compares you unfavourably to other people and your mind is telling you to bounce, you probably should. Do you really want to fix stuff with someone who downgrades you in comparison to his friend’s girlfriend or spouse?
25If You’re Feeling Lonely, Listen
Some people think that having all the money in the world and the most glamorous relationship makes you feel on top of the world, but it could get quite lonely at the top. If you’re not in a blissful relationship, chances are you’re going to get the feeling of loneliness. Do not ignore that thought, because loneliness is harmful and toxic. If you’re with your other half and you constantly feel lonely when you’re in each other’s company, it’s very telling of your relationship and the steps you should take.
24If You Have To Make Excuses For Your SO, Listen
No relationship should negatively affect your relationship with your friends and family ― like how often you see them. For instance, do you find yourself lying to your loved ones to hide and excuse your partner’s behaviour and feel it is totally wrong? If so, what your little voice is thinking is correct. You should not have to constantly make up excuses for your partner’s disrespectful behaviour, like him not showing up when he was supposed to.
23If You Feel Stuck, Listen
We are all victims of over-thinking, but sometimes we ignore the voice in our heads when we should truly listen to it. Your mind is not scamming you if you constantly feel like you are trapped in a relationship. Since when should any relationship make you feel that way? If it is not a feeling you’d accept from your friendships, then why accept it with your partner? The sense of being trapped is not one to disregard, so listen carefully.
22Is There No Attraction Left?
In the beginning of the relationship, was your partner constantly emphasizing how attracted he was to you? And now, does he not show any attraction at all verbally or physically? If so, you need to listen and address the issue; none of us women want to go to bed at night feeling like our SO is no longer attracted to us. You need to bring it up and try and meet in the middle, especially if you feel he is not responsive physically.
21Worry If He Does Not Show Up Back Home
We want you to pay close attention to this one, because it is quite the sticky situation if you’re in it. This is the scenario: your SO constantly comes home extremely late in the night without an explanation or fails to come home at night without explanation. Now, your partner is certainly allowed to have his boy nights, but if that little voice inside your head is convinced he is being sketchy, you may want to listen. And if he goes out constantly without telling you where or with who, you should be antsy.
20If Your Partner Complains About You, Listen
No one in this world is perfect, but that does not mean your partner should be constantly complaining about you to your loved ones. Is that little voice in your head telling you that what your SO is doing is completely rude and unethical? You’re correct. Your relationship is not the healthiest if your partner finds joy in complaining about you to friends and family. We’d worry too if our partner was talking bad over good.
19Do You Complement Each Other?
The mind and heart never want the same things; often enough, the heart wants what it wants and wins. They always say to follow your heart, but when in a relationship, you really need to listen to that inner voice in the back of your mind. If we told you to sit down right now and think of ways that you and your partner make each other better people, and you find yourself scratching your head, you should surely worry. If in the back of your mind you don’t make a great team, your little voice will tell you.
18If It’s His Way Or The Highway, Listen
Are you in a relationship where you feel you must always go by your partner’s rules? Do you only spend time or see each other when only he wants to?
If so, you probably have that voice in your head telling you he probably does not care about you as much as you think.
In extreme measures, if you disagree with your SO, he will tell you to either agree or take a hike. We insist that if your gut is telling you he is doing this because he does not care the way you do, let go of him.
17You Don’t Have Strong Suspicions For Nothing
You usually cannot go on with someone if you have a suspicious mind; that is the difference between overthinking for nothing and overthinking because you should be. If you’re having suspicions of any immoral behaviour coming from your partner, you should listen to them. We don’t always want to believe what our gut is forcing us to, but qualms do not arise for nothing. Take a deep breath, listen to that little angel hovering over your shoulder and do what you believe is right about your suspicious thoughts.
16Have You Broken Up Before?
We are only human, which means we can make the same mistake or mistakes repeatedly until we learn. Sometimes, it is because we overthink things, but more often than not, it is because we are listening to our hearts over our minds when it should be the contrary. If you and your SO have broken up before or broken up numerous times and keep trying to fix it and that little voice might be saying you’re not right for each other, queue in. If you feel it isn’t right, it isn’t.
15Does Your Partner Ignore Serious Topics?
Depending where you are in life with your other half, mentioning future plans is a guarantee in any relationship. If you’re dating and want to someday get married or are married and want to someday have little bundles of joy and you feel you cannot talk about that with your SO, worrying is only normal.
Are you unable to get your partner’s attention when you want to talk about something important?
Does he dismiss those topics? Listen to that little voice that encourages you to get down to it.
14If He Isn’t Supportive, Listen
When you’re in a relationship, you want the other person in your life to encourage you, support you and be your shoulder to lean on. If your SO comes home with great news and you share your joy for him, then he should be able to pat you on the back as well. If he does not, and instead he belittles your success or doesn’t show any interest that you, let us say, got a raise at work, there is surely a problem. Don’t doubt that little voice that is telling you that is unacceptable.
13Does He Tease About Other Women?
Sometimes in life, we need to draw the line, especially in this kind of situation. It is dandy to make jokes and all when you’re with your SO, but if his “jokes” seem off, it is not a laughing matter. Is he always “bugging” you and “joking” with you by saying he is going to leave you for his other girlfriend/wife? And does your gut make you uncomfortable because you think that may be true? If he keeps imposing the same joke on you, chances are, it is not a joke at all.
12Do You Avoid Seeing Your SO?
The heart and mind are two completely different things; unfortunately, we are sometimes unsure which is right. Thus far, though, we hope that you listen to us and confide in that little voice of yours. After a long day at work or a tumultuous day, do you avoid seeing your partner? Do you opt going for a coffee by yourself or to see your friends instead? If you’re not wanting to go home to him, you’re probably not happy and should listen closely to your inner voice.
11Listen If You Feel A Lack Of Affection
Suddenly, it is three years you’re together, and you’re feeling drastic changes in terms of affection. He used to always be all adorable and giggly around you, and now, you both rarely even smile at each other. Is that bothering you day and night? This is an issue that arises in many relationships, so you are not alone. However, that does not mean it is a worry to let slide. The absence of affection in your relationship must certainly be addressed.
10If He Wants Some Alone Time, It’s Alright
It is inevitable, most women are over-thinkers. And the reality is, that overthinking is no good, but we tend to do it anyway. Often, we are making something out of nothing, like in this situation. Sometimes, your SO has had a really long day and he just wants to be in his own company.
We know, if he tells you so you will start freaking out and ask yourself why he wouldn’t appreciate your presence.
Well, sometimes when men are in dull moods, they’re not pushing you away, rather, they do not want to expose you to their iffy mood.
9You’re Overthinking It If He Doesn’t Invite You
“My man got an invite to a party, and he did not include me ― does he not want me around? Is he doing things I would not approve of?” That is certainly what an overthinking woman in a relationship would think if her SO does not suggest her to tag along to a party. No, it is not because he is going to flirt with other women or because he finds you boring ― stop thinking that right now. It is because he is a man and just wants a party night with the boys without having to worry about you when there.
8Don’t Fret It If You Find Out Bad News From Another
“How come you did not tell me your mom is sick? Do you not confide in me?” That is what an overthinking woman will say to herself repeatedly if he withholds bad news. He isn’t keeping bad news from you because he does not think you’re close enough or because he is hiding it from you. Sometimes, you need to take a step back and put yourself in your partner’s shoes; he probably just did not have time to process it yet and telling you will make it all the more real.
7His Calmness Is Nothing To Freak Over
All of a sudden, your partner is quiet, and your mind is going off thinking about various terrible outcomes ― all for nothing! You’re overthinking if you think he is being quiet because he is over you, contemplating being with you or because he did something bashful. No, you must shut down the overthinking and remind yourself that he is probably only quiet because he wants to shut his brain off for a little while. It’s a good thing that he feels at ease being quiet around you.
6Don’t Overthink The Fact That He Did Not Compliment You
As women, we can all agree that being complimented by our SO is extremely flattering, so much so that we persist on always receiving compliments. There are those moments, like on date night, when we take our sweet time to get ready and impress our partner, and when the final product is complete, he does not say a peep. There goes the classic overthinking: “Why isn’t he complimenting me? Do I not look good enough? Do I look fat?” No, it is none of that, he just does not always remember how important it is to compliment.
5“But He Complimented Another Woman”
Sometimes, you just really need to let it go . If you’re with your man and he compliments another woman in your presence, take three deep breaths and keep calm. We know that you’re wired to immediately feel insecure. However, he might just feel comfortable enough around you and secure about your relationship that he can compliment another woman and just be his charming self.
4It Is Normal If His Friends Are Not Chatterboxes
“Boys will be boys” ― that saying was not invented for nothing. If you’re hanging out with his closest friends and you feel they are not really engaging in conversation with you, we advise you to not let your inner voice take control. You’re probably immediately thinking that they do not like you, but we’ll let you in on a few secrets. His friends will probably chit chat less because they second-guess what to say, and if they know you mean a lot to their friend, they do not want to make fools of themselves.
3It Does Not Always Have To Be Extravagant
Most of us love being wined and dined. And while you got used to be taken to fancy restaurants and posh bars at the beginning of the relationship when he was trying to impress you, don’t freak out when things kind of calm down. It just means he feels more comfortable just staying home with you and taking it easy rather than being surrounded by a ton of strangers. Just as long as you guys still have date nights, don’t stress if you’re not going out as much as you used to.
2Do Not Instigate
One thing is true, as women, we do not forget. However, to avoid all the problems that come with overthinking, you sometimes need to leave the past in the past. For instance, if a couple of months ago, or even a year ago, you guys got into a dispute, do not bring it up again as ammo if it is not relative. When you get into an argument, be sure you both come to some kind of conclusion you’re content with so that you don’t overanalyze it and bring it up every time you guys get into a tiff. Either forgive and forget or end the relationship if you can’t get past it.
1Men Are Not Always In Cuddle-Mode
Yes, we tend to analyze a lot, but some things are totally not worth it. You and your partner may constantly cuddle in bed together or cozy up when watching a movie, but it does happen where he just might want his space. And instead of letting it be, you immediately start thinking that he does not want to be close to you or that you did something wrong ― and that might not be the case. If it happens often, you can address the issue and ask him about it, but if it happens every now and then, we don’t think you should stress about it.