Love advice

In The End, The Only Thing I Regret Is Loving You More Than I Loved Myself

I don’t regret meeting you, I regret letting you consume me. How can I regret meeting someone who made me feel like I’m flying? How could I regret ever meeting you, when you were the one who shaped me? It wasn’t your love that did that, to be honest. It was the way you consumed me. I let you to consume my energy, my emotions and my love. I let your toxic love poison mine because I believed that the man I fell in love with will come back. I believed that my love is stronger than yours. But it never was.

 

I don’t regret choosing you, I regret choosing you over myself. When I love, I don’t hold back any of it. If I love you, I love the way you smile, I love the way you breathe, I love the way that vein pops up on your forehead when you’re angry. I love how wrinkles appear around your eyes when you laugh from the heart. And I love the fact that I get to choose you every single day. But I chose you over myself. I chose your wellbeing to come before mine. I chose to fight your demons before mine. I chose to save you, only to destroy myself.

I don’t regret making you my priority, I regret believing you’ll do the same. Silly me, right? I believed that if I show you that I care enough, you’ll care about me too. I thought that if I love you hard enough, that my love will somehow heal you. I regret hoping that you’ll change, because it broke my heart every single time you would turn away. It would break my heart every single night that I fell asleep alone. It broke my heart every morning I would spend alone in our kitchen, knowing you didn’t care enough about me to come home, knowing that I’m not your priority—I’m just one of the choices you never made.

 

I don’t regret that I let you in, I regret letting you destroy me. I will never regret letting you in, because for a while, what we had was amazing and special. For a while I was the happiest woman alive. For a while, I actually had the reason to believe that you love me, that you will let me in the way I let you. I just regret that I let your words pierce through my heart. I let your comments destroy my confidence. I let your behavior break me on daily basis because you only cared about yourself. I regret that I knew what you were doing to me, but I still hoped you will stop. I still hoped that I could change that, if I just try a little harder. But fixing other people should never come with the price of my own sanity.

I don’t regret loving you, I regret trusting you with my heart. Maybe, if I walked away sooner, I wouldn’t be broken. Maybe if I decided to put myself first, to choose myself over you sooner, I wouldn’t be destroyed. But I stayed, I hoped and I loved. I trusted you with my heart, only to see you drop it. I trusted you with my life, only to see you destroy it. I trusted you with us, only to see you walk away.

 

I don’t regret giving you everything I had, because I gained much more. I gave you my heart, my body and my mind. I gave you my sanity. And you threw them all away. You destroyed my mind, poisoned my heart and bruised my soul. But I’m now stronger than you will ever be. I love myself in ways you never could. I own my story and I respect my scars. I know what I am. I know how amazing and tough I am. I know that those bruises will heal, I know that poison can be sucked out. I know that I can rebuild myself, no matter how hard you try to destroy me. Because, finally, I know my worth. Finally, I can say that I regret nothing, because everything I did after you, was for me. Everything that I am now is what I always wanted to be.

 

ThoughtCatalogs

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 is an Educational & Entertainment Platform theme. Our Team Publishes 100+ Content On Weekend/Monthly. We will motivate the needs of any person & make them inspire instantly You, Will, admit Once You Begin Your Journey With Us. The Thought Catalogs platform is a perfect choice.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button

Adblock Detected

If you enjoy our Content, please support our site by disabling your ad blocker. We depend on ad revenue to keep creating quality content for you to enjoy for free