I’m Not Chasing Love, I’m Chasing Happiness

Yes, it’s true, nothing can lift you up and make you feel like you are on top of the world like love. It’s true, love is one of the most important things in the world. It’s true, love is worth all of your efforts and going that extra mile. But what if I had the wrong approach? I realized that chasing after love only pulled me further and further away from it. I can’t be the only one trying and making all the efforts. I can’t be the only one who calls, texts, plans dates and accommodates the other person.   I have a heart too and that heart needs to feel loved. I can’t be the one who gives it all and gets nothing in return. It’s making me empty. I can’t be with someone anymore and feel so alone at the same time. I can’t make anyone see me, make them appreciate or cherish me. They should be able to do that on their own. I am tired of the chase and I realized one important thing—you never have to chase anyone who wants to stay with you. I am done doing that. Also, I am done with people who make me feel like being single is a disease that needs to be treated. It’s not. It’s rewarding. It’s fulfilling and amazing. It’s also so very hard. But it beats being in a bad relationship any day.   That’s why the only thing I am chasing now is happiness. I am working on making myself happy. I am building back up the confidence that toxic relationships took away from me. I am trying to be my best self. I am rediscovering myself. I am chasing my dreams. I am setting the goals I want to reach. I travel more. I am trying new things and meeting new people. I am creating a life I will be proud of. And I am doing it for me and me alone. For the first time in a long time, I decided to put myself first. I decided that I will laugh more and cry less. I decided to make better choices. I decided to follow my heart but take my brain with me. I don’t want to be the one on the losing end all of the time. I don’t want my goodness to be mistaken for weakness. I don’t want emotional roller coasters and I don’t want to spend my life hoping for something that will never be. I still want love—true, genuine, can’t live without you type of love but I won’t chase after it. I will let it find me while I am busy chasing after my own happiness.