Why is it so hard these days to have normal relationships? Nothing out of the ordinary, just a relationship with commitment and loyalty. With no unwanted dick pics, ghosting and multiple active dating app profiles.
God knows I’m not asking for much. I gave up on dreaming about that movie kind of love that feels like Christmas morning. I gave up on that love story where you two meet and the whole world finally makes sense. At this point, I’m just looking for someone who will love me like I love him. Someone who will care about me as much as I care about him.
I’m done with these half-assed relationships.
Nothing in your life should be done half-assed, especially your relationship. We are not put on this world to be loved occasionally because we deserve to be loved at every moment and beyond. We deserve to be loved at our worst, not only at best. Same like we’re ready to love someone else, he should be ready to love us as well.
I’m done with these f*ckboys, cheatboys and shitboys.
It’s all the same, really. Someone who is not ready to commit to just one person is nothing more than a boy. And as long as it’s all fun and games, one-night stands and whatnot, it’s fine. But being played by a f*ckboy, where he knew from the first moment he will never commit, but still had indecency to make you believe he will, that’s straight hell. Playing with someone else’s emotions and heart is a shit move to do.
I’m done with these emotionally unavailable men.
It’s like loving a wall. You are doing all you can, giving your everything and putting a shit ton of effort, but for nothing. There’s no reaction; there are no emotions. Nothing. It feels like you’re screaming at him, pouring out your heart and all you can hear is an echo of your own words. The pain in your own voice is surrounding you, draining you, destroying you. And yet, there’s not a single reaction from him. Not one.
And I’m so f*cking done with you.
With your fake love.
With your empty promises and empty words.
I deserve more than to hope that you will come around, more than to hope that someday you will see how lucky you are. Because damn it, I’m worth it. All of it. I deserve more than just people who take away parts of me. I deserve more than to look at someone’s back when they’re leaving me.
I deserve love. I deserve devotion. I deserve explanation when things go south. I’m so done with coming up with answers on my own, so done doubting myself and my worth because someone is unable to love me. So tired of thinking it’s always my fault people leave.
I’m so done with whatever this was between us because it sure as hell wasn’t love.
Maybe you thought it was maybe you thought that it counts if you say it is. Maybe you thought that the occasional pat on the back was enough to comfort me. Maybe you thought that occasional texts about how great my body is were enough to make me feel wanted.
But that’s not love.
It means nothing when you text me if you are with someone else at the moment. It means nothing if you try to comfort me because you are the one who caused my pain. You are the one who caused my sorrow. It means nothing if you say you love me because you never showed me.
It only means that all you have are words.
Actions are not really your thing.
And I deserve a real deal. I deserve someone who will respect me and my feelings. I deserve someone who will be there next to me. I don’t need him to kiss the ground I walk on. I don’t need him to fight my battles or carry me around like a drop of water on a palm.
I just need him to be there. To kiss me and tell me that I got it. To hug me and make me feel loved. I don’t need empty promises and words. I just need to feel it. I don’t need to be spoiled, I just need to be respected. And I don’t need another f*ckboy in my life. I need a man. A real man.
But until then, I’m going to love myself the best way I can. At least I’ll know it’s real.