What if we met again? Would things be different? Maybe we’d pick up right where we left off, like no time had passed. But what if I told you I kept us frozen in time because I wanted to remember us that way and in that moment? I want to remember how much love existed between us and how nothing and no one else mattered when it did. I held onto that moment because I knew once it passed I would hate what followed.
Somewhere between then and now, we lost ourselves in the same place we found ourselves, and that was in each other. We lost sight of who we were as individuals and who we were outside of us. It was so easy to get lost in it, but along the way we forgot who we were. The love never changed, but we did.
I’m not sure how to explain it, but this type of love just hits differently. All I knew was this love with you was the one I wanted to keep forever. But unfortunately life happens and we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes the universe gives us what we need the moment we need it. It’s hard to accept that, because how cliché is it that we have to lose something we love the most to really build our character?
It would be easy for me just to blame it on bad timing, but what is time, really? We put so much emphasis on time and what it means to us and why it holds so much value to us. Time is the one thing we all take for granted, but we all put so much pressure on the importance of it. Maybe it’s not just about time, maybe it’s about our own paths and how those paths can possibly align again if they’re meant to.
It took me a while to realize it, but maybe we both have some growing to do individually. We need to go out and be who it is we’re meant to be. Maybe we both have to grow to be the people we’re meant to be so we can come back and be that for each other one day.
A part of me finds comfort in that. The possibility that all that love and all that pain wasn’t just for nothing. What if it sparked a fire in us that we didn’t know existed? All that love and loss was to better us and push us to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.
For a long time I imagined what it would be like to go back and be us again. I take myself back to that moment I kept us in and remember how much it changed my life. Although it hurts more often than not, I still believe the universe has a plan. What’s meant to be will be, so I learned to try and embrace that fear of uncertainty and push myself to move forward. On the days I feel like I’m torn apart inside, I tell myself to try and keep it together because the only way to move forward through that pain is to let it in then let it go.