Have you ever cared deeply about a guy who could never make up his mind about you? About a guy who couldn’t choose you for real and who was never clear about his feelings for you?
One day, he acts like you are everything he has ever searched for in a woman and the very next, it is like you never existed. One day, you feel like you are on top of the world and the very next, he ruins everything, leaving you feeling miserable.
There are days when you can really feel all the depths of his love for you. Days which start with his good morning text, days in which he cares about your day, when he texts you all the time, when he acts like he can’t wait to see you and when he really acts like you are important to him. Days in which he assures you of how much he loves you and acts like he couldn’t imagine living his life without you.
Then, on the other hand, there are days when he disappears completely. Days when he ghosts you and acts like you are completely unimportant to him. Days when he acts like he doesn’t give a damn about you.
And then, when you finally give up on him and when you accept the fact that he isn’t coming back and that this is really the end, he reappears as if nothing happened. He makes all of these empty promises you want to believe in and just like that, you accept his excuses and you let him back in.
But before you know it, things go back to the way they were. Before you know it, you are back at step one and history repeats itself.
On the other hand, while he is acting like this, you can’t help but feel like you are in a relationship. You are completely committed to this man and you don’t feel single, even though you probably should.
You don’t let new guys in and you don’t even give them a chance to get close to you. Instead, you spend your days waiting for this man to come to his senses and waiting for things between you to be the way they should be, while he is out there, living his life as he pleases.
When he is next to you, you are the happiest girl in the world. But when he is gone, you keep racking your brains about him. And you do nothing except wait for him to come back.
Does he care about you but is too scared to admit it? Does he have deep and strong feelings for you which he isn’t expressing in the right way?
Or has he been playing you all along? Does he think of you as nothing other than convenient and he is keeping you around until someone more suitable comes along?
Does he keep leading you on just so he can have someone to turn to when he runs out of all other options? Does he love you or does he just enjoy being loved by you?
Well, let me tell you one thing—these are not the things you should have to deal with because the right man would never make you doubt his feelings or intentions. The right man would never make you beg for his undivided attention and he would never make you chase him.
And obviously, this guy is not right for you because it is clear that he can’t (or won’t) commit and he can’t (or won’t) be consistent. And it only means one thing, which you don’t want to accept—he doesn’t love you enough. So why does he still have a place in your life?
Why do you keep yourself on hold? Why do you put this much effort into a labelless relationship?
Why do you keep welcoming him back with your arms wide open every time he feels like coming back to your life? Why do you allow him to keep breaking your heart?
I know it’s difficult and painful but please be aware that you are strong enough to get out of this endless circle. You are strong enough to say your final goodbye to this man and to show him that you can make it without him. Strong enough to leave him in the past and never to look back.
You are strong enough to stop settling for crumbs, while you are giving your entire self. Strong enough to walk away from this half-assed love, because you deserve much more.