Dating is a pretty big deal to women, and when we think about a first date we generally put a lot of effort into it. We get all dressed up, we worry about the date, and we really try to make everything perfect for it. So it can be disappointing to a woman when she realizes that a man has not put the same effort into a date.
There are a few things that are deal breakers for a woman when it comes to the first date, things that we can’t really recover from. There are certain things that a guy can do on the first date that can cause us to strike him off the list entirely. Check out these 20 things guys do that ensure they won’t get a second date.
20Talking About Wealth
Most women just don’t like to sit there on a first date and listen to a guy talk about how much money he has.
Genuine ladies are not going to be impressed by how much money you make or whether or not you have a Porsche. They care more about your personality and compatibility than what you drive or what’s in the bank.
19Being More Than Fifteen Minutes Late
18Talking About His Ex
Obviously, if you continue to date this person, you are bound to start talking about your exes, but the first date just isn’t the time for that.
Sometimes these topics come up accidentally and that’s fine, just don’t spend a lot of time discussing the issue. The problem is, if a guy is talking about his ex all night, then chances are he’s not really over her.
17He Spends The Night Talking About Himself
16He Doesn’t Listen
Nothing is more painful than being on a first date and feeling like the guy you are with isn’t listening to you at all.
The first date is definitely the time to focus on the person across from you.
“Actually listen. I’ve been guilty of half-listening to my girlfriend. And that means you give [lame] responses. That is not good. Put down what you’re doing — or at least tell your significant other to give you a second if you are in the middle of something dangerous — then give your full attention,” says Ella Ceron in How to Date Better.
15He Shows Up Sloppy
14He Flirts With The Waitress
But if you find yourself on a date with a guy that flirts with his waitress, it’s best to just get up and leave.
He’s just showing a lack of respect for you, and if he can’t manage to keep himself in check during a first date then you can bet he will behave like that throughout your entire relationship.
13He Looks At His Phone The Entire Time
12He Tells His Whole Life Story
There is definitely such a thing as TMI when it comes to the first date. Sure, you want to get to know each other, but if a guy tells you his whole life story that might be a red flag.
On a first date, you can get to know each other while still keeping the conversation light and fun.
If you go into too many details you might bore your date to death. For a man to tell you everything means he’s taking away the whole mystery behind you discovering things about each other naturally. Besides, his bad habits can stay hidden at least until things are official.
11He Gets Sloppy
10He Points Out Your Flaws
Chances are if we have some flaws, we probably already know what they are. We don’t need our date to start pointing them out to us. Not only is it rude but what does he have to gain by doing so?
A guy should be making you feel good about yourself on a first date.
Giving someone too many compliments throughout the night can be just as bad, sure. But trust us when we say if someone is pointing out your flaws, there is a chance he’s a narcissist and you should want to avoid him at all costs.
9He’s Rude To The Staff
8He Complains The Whole Time
There are just some people that seem to dislike everything and can’t seem to stop themselves about complaining about every little thing.
Radika Madhu, a 22-year-old advertisement executive describes a date she was once on, “So I meet this guy for the first time and he complained about everything in the world – religion, his job, his boss, his dad, his mom, his dog and humanity in general. By the end of it, I felt like throwing a drink in his face.”
7He Asks To Go Dutch
We are all for female empowerment and equal rights, but if a guy doesn’t pay on the first date we are going to assume he’s cheap. If you want to help pay for a meal on the fourth or fifth date or make some arrangement during your relationship, that’s fine and totally up to you. But a guy should be fine with paying for things on a first date, especially if he invited you out. It shows that he’s a gentleman and wants to make sure you are having a good time. A lot of people will debate on this one, but to us, it’s a must.
6He Pushes Your Boundaries
If you discover that you really like this guy and you want to get closer to him at the end of the evening, all the power to you. But if it’s not your thing, then don’t let someone talk you into it.
If a guy is pushing for something when you don’t feel the same way, then he doesn’t respect you.
You should be spending your first date trying to get to know each other anyway, without additional expectations. It’s not cool to be pressured to be intimate before you’re ready. If he does pressure you, end the date early and don’t give him a second one.
5He’s Argumentative With You
A first date should be light and fun, so it’s not really a time to get involved in serious conversations. The two of you are literally strangers, so keeping controversial topics off the table would probably be a good idea. It’s okay for everyone to express their opinions but a guy shouldn’t be pushing you to agree with everything he has to say. There is no need for a date to turn into an argument and if it does, then feel free to call it a night. If you guys end up dating there will be plenty of time to argue, it just shouldn’t be happening on your first date.
4He Interviews You
Maybe he wants to make sure that you are interested in having kids or can support yourself before deciding to move forward with you.
Okay, sure. But if he goes about trying to find everything there is to know about you by peppering you with questions, it’s not a good sign. Going through an interview type date is not only painful for the other person but very boring as well.
3He’s Condescending Toward You
If a guy is condescending to you on the first date, you can bet that’s the way he’s going to treat you for the entire relationship. If a guy discovers that he is more knowledgeable on a subject than you are and proceeds to mock you, he doesn’t deserve another date. A common condescending statement would be something like this: “It’s cool; here, let me show you how it’s done.” There are plenty of ways that a guy can make you feel stupid just because you don’t know as much as he does, and whatever his intention, it’s not cool.
2He Doesn’t Plan Anything
One of the most fun things to do on a date is to try new places and to be surprised by your date. If your date doesn’t plan anything and just askes you what you want to do, that’s not exactly a good sign.
If a guy is really excited to date you, he should plan things out so you’ll both have a good time.
Relationship guru Tracey Cox says, “We want to hear that he chose the pub/restaurant to impress us, not just because it’s around the corner from where he works. Admitting to making a bit of effort isn’t geeky, it’s flattering.”
1He Has Mommy Issues
Yikes, fear the man that has mommy issues! There are few situations where a guy should even bring up his mother on a date. So if he discusses her a lot, it may be a red flag, no matter how sweet it seems on the surface. Tracey Cox states, “If he reveals that he’s still living with or too attached to his mother, it’s an obvious red flag. Equally as dangerous are men who foam at the mouth with ill-disguised hatred when he mentions her. And why is he mentioning his mother on a first date?”