It wasn’t easy for me to talk about all those things that happened in my past relationship. I was on the verge of tears while words kept pouring out of me.
I trusted you. I confided in you. I told you about my fears of the same hurtful things happening with us, and you just sat there, held me in your arms and reassured me.
I felt so safe right there and then with you, and I couldn’t even guess you will use my words as a guide that helped you hit me where it hurts the most.
I let you in. I opened my heart and allowed myself to be vulnerable again. I cared for you so deeply and I ended up regretting it because let’s face it—you were no better than my ex.
Have you no heart? Have you no conscience?
What am I asking? Of course you don’t—after all you put me through. I guess you were born without empathy. You can’t relate to other people’s sufferings. All you care about is you.
I don’t think you lost sleep thinking about how much your actions affected me and how hurt I was because of them.
Only a selfish and self-centered person would open up the old wounds and make them deeper.
Only an idiot would take the love and efforts of a good woman and toss them away like they mean nothing.
I don’t understand you; I never will. Millions of questions are running through my head, and I know I will never have the answers.
I guess you were a good actor. You played the role of a good boyfriend so masterfully until I was hooked, and then you turned the story around and showed your true face.
You made my worst fears come alive. Because of your trust issues, I already had only gotten worse, and I am starting to doubt if they can ever be solved.
You made life so much harder on me. You made the prospect of a new relationship seem almost impossible because I started to build walls again, and I am unsure if anyone will be strong enough to climb them.
It was bad enough to go through that awful experience once. Twice is too much. I became more guarded than ever. I doubt everything and everyone.
But there’s one thing I am sure of—you were never worthy of me. You never deserved the trust, respect and love I gave you. I was too good for you, and I know that now.
That’s the only thing that fills me with the hope that one day, someone worthy will come along. Someone who is totally unlike you. Someone who will safeguard my trust with all he has.
Until the right man arrives, I will put back all of my broken pieces. I have to trust in myself first. I have to believe that I can make all the toxic memories leave my system. I have to believe that there is still some good in people and that not all are as heartless as you.
