No one wants or deserves to be taken for granted, so I get you’re frustrated when the guy you are in a relationship with does this to you. You see that lately, he has been treating you like a second choice and a safety net and he has become certain that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does.
However, things between you haven’t always been like this.
The beginning is always perfect. You live in a fantasy, and your world shines more brightly than ever.
It’s because you’re in love, and when you fall in love, you fail to see everything that happens around you.
Maybe at first you didn’t see his flaws which he has like we all do, but as time passed and the honeymoon phase was over, he started acting distant. It’s like he started losing interest over night.
Of course, all of this is making you feel unappreciated and unloved, and it is causing you to question your self-worth. Are you no longer enough for this guy or is this just a phase?
So, you may ask yourself what to do when he starts acting like he doesn’t care about you anymore. Is there any solution at all or is this man about to become your ex boyfriend and there is nothing you can do about it?
How can you make him realize he’s losing you and make him fall in love with you all over again?
Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you anymore, that he has started taking you for granted or that he is looking for ways to dump you. No—relationships can enter a rut sometimes, and things become boring.
You do the same things every day, and you lose the excitement you had in the beginning. That’s when most men pull away.
They just don’t feel good in the relationship anymore. They become distant and probably want a way out.
However, there is also the other side of the story. Men sometimes get too used to the idea of being in a relationship, so they don’t bother around their partners anymore, and they start to care less about their love life.
They are sure that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them, so they just stop trying. They stop investing in the relationship, and they stop being worried about possibly losing you.
They ignore you and take your communication to the lowest level. This leaves you frustrated, sad, and fearful of losing him.
You know that your guy is still somewhere in there because he didn’t change over night—that is impossible. Therefore, it’s completely natural to be scared of losing him, to be scared that you are growing apart.
It’s only logical that your next move is to try to talk to him, try to see where the problem is and how you can solve it. You have to find out how to make him realize he’s losing you.
So, how to make him realize he’s losing you? How to make a man realize he could lose you?
If these are the questions you have no answer to, try some of the following ways to open his mind and realize what he’s doing. Show him that the two of you are worth fighting for!
1. Don’t care too much
When you’re wondering how to make a man realize he is losing you, the answer is: keep him at a distance. I’m not saying that you should totally exclude him from your life, but you should at least try to get away from him for some time.
Don’t ask him where he’s been or what he was doing. Don’t ask about his friends or his plans and don’t sit around, waiting for him to invite you on a date night, like you have nothing else to do.
However, a crucial piece of dating advice is to do the same when it comes to your life. Give him the silent treatment: don’t talk too much about what’s going on in your life as well (and even reduce your social media activity so he can’t keep track of what you’ve been up to lately).
Use this time to work on yourself and the things you like. Let him do whatever he wants, and don’t object to it.
If he cares for you, he will probably get worried because you are not reacting to things like you used to, and he will wonder why. He will see that something is clearly off, and he’ll do his best to get to the bottom of your change.
Don’t be surprised if he tests you by doing something on purpose, just to see your reaction. However, you’ll see right through that, and one more time, don’t give in.
If you want this to succeed, you have to be persistent because if it works and if you manage to wake this guy out of his stupor and make him realize he is losing you, you’re going to be glad you managed to pull this stunt off.
2. Stop responding to his calls and text messages
The last thing you should be doing when you’re trying to figure out how to make him realize that he is losing you is to make yourself too available for him. He is used to getting hold of you whenever he wants to, used to you responding to his text messages and phone calls right away and you always being there.
Well, by changing these behavior patterns, you will show him what his life would look like without you in it.
Don’t answer his calls, ignore his texting you, and see where it goes. Before you know it, he’ll probably see that he is lost without you.
He will get a glimpse of how his life would look like without you in it, and I assure you that he won’t like it so, soon enough, he’ll snap back to its old self.
Also, if you really can’t take it and you feel the urge to text him or call him back, do it—but wait a bit before you do. This will make him wonder what’s going on, too.
Your silent treatment will be especially effective if you’re in a long distance relationship, where your entire love life depends on texting and phone calls. This way, he won’t have a clue what’s going on with you, and that will make him think of your relationship and his mistakes even more.
3. Don’t let him depend on you
If you’re wondering how to make a guy realize he’s losing you, one of the first things you should do is stop allowing him to count on you, no matter what. This one is pretty cruel, but if you want to succeed, you have to be merciless.
Stop doing things for him. Stop doing chores around the house, and stop making his life easier.
Instead of spoiling this guy you‘re in a relationship with, take care of yourself. Redirect all the energy you’ve been wasting on him, and start focusing on yourself.
I know you’ll probably be worried whether he can make it without you, and you’ll want to give him a hand like you always did. However, this time, try not to care about his needs, and remember that you’re trying to teach him a lesson, for both of your sakes.
Start with some little things: make him cook his own dinner and iron his own clothes. Make him buy his own shit—just stop taking care of him.
Once he sees that you take care of yourself instead of doing all those things for him, he will realize how much he depends on you, and he will start to chase you. He will probably be embarrassed, and even if not that, he will be completely and utterly lost without you.
This is going to be his wake-up call because it will be hard for him to find another woman as awesome as you who will put up with his crap and love him at the same time.
4. You have to learn to say ‘NO’
If you’re trying to figure out how to make him know he is losing you, you have to take a stand for yourself. Don’t let him drag you around to the places he likes, doing the things he wants, without giving a damn about your preferences.
I’m not saying that you should stop being supportive of his dreams and aspirations. I’m just saying that you have another life to look after—your own.
Think what you want to do for a change and humor yourself.
Don’t let him talk you into liking things you hate and going places you don’t want to. If you can’t find a compromise, do it your way.
On the plus side, he will probably be stunned that you learned to say ‘no’ all of a sudden. He will realize that he is losing you because you will spend more and more time apart, and his attention won’t be needed.
Also, the next time your boyfriend asks you out on a date night, tell him that you already have plans or that you’re not in a mood for seeing him tonight. Trust me—this is the last thing he’ll expect from you, and it will definitely be a wake up call for him.
This will make him think, and when he snaps back and realizes he almost lost you, he will see the strong woman you are—a woman that is able to make her own decisions, and he will respect you even more for that.
5. Go out without him
The next step is to start going out without asking him to come along and without consulting with him first. By doing this, you’ll show him that you can manage perfectly on your own and that you can have the time of your life without him present.
Spring this on him out of nowhere. Just tell him that you have a date with your girls this Saturday night, and you’re going to hit the town. Don’t ask him if he’s okay with it, and don’t obsess about what he’s got to say.
Put on a smokin’ hot dress, go out without him, and post pictures of your night all over social media. Don’t leave dinner prepared for him, and tell him not to wait up.
If he asks any additional questions, don’t give any specific answers. Let him feel uneasy, let him panic, and maybe he’ll even get a bit jealous.
This isn’t the right thing to do usually, but in your situation, consider yourself successful if you provoke any kind of emotion, even if it’s envy or jealousy.
It means he still has feelings for you, but they are hidden somewhere because of the rut your relationship is stuck in. Go out with your friends to provoke those buried emotions, and save your relationship if you really care.
Besides, after a while, you’ll stop pretending that you’re having the time of your life just to make him jealous, and you will really forget about your problems and start to care less about your relationship.
If this doesn’t work, tell him that you’re planning a mini holiday or a road trip with your girlfriends or that you want to visit your long distance bestie who lives across the country and pay attention to his reaction. Will he get scared or relieved?
The most important thing is to apply the mini no contact rule when you’re somewhere without him. Make him see that you’re having a blast and that you don’t have the desire to spend the entire Saturday night on the phone with him.
6. Turn down last minute plans
Stop doing whatever he wants you to do. If he didn’t have the decency to tell you his plans a bit sooner, it is a sign that he doesn’t value your time, and if he doesn’t value your time, he doesn’t respect you.
If he doesn’t respect you and the things you want to do, you don’t have to respect him, and you sure as hell don’t have to say yes to his last minute plans (especially if he asks you out on a Friday or Saturday night at the last moment, after all of his friends apparently left him hanging). Show him that you won’t settle for being his second choice—someone he calls when everyone else has stood him up.
As much as you probably don’t want to do this, keep in mind that you have to show him how you feel by giving him a taste of his own medicine. Trust me–it is the only way in which he’ll take you seriously.
Show this man that you don’t spend your entire days waiting for him to have the decency to call you and that you have a social life on your own, as well. I assure you that this will make this guy realize he is losing you and make him miss you, more than anything else.
7. Take up a new hobby
You need your world to stop revolving around him. After all, this is the reason why he is acting the way he is–he knows that no matter what, you will be there for him.
So, it is obvious that you need to show him you are perfectly fine without him, and if he doesn’t open his eyes to see it, he will lose you forever.
The best way to do so is to start a new hobby, something that he isn’t involved in. This way, you’re going to enrich your social life—you’re going to hang out with people who love the same things as you do.
Most importantly, you’ll show your man that you can function perfectly without him and that you wouldn’t have a problem with being single again.
8. Withhold s*x
Okay, let’s face it, all guys are complete suckers when s*x is at stake, and that is the reason why most dating advice will tell you to withhold s*x if you want to make a man chase you. If you take that away from them, it’s the end of the world as they know it, and you’ll surely get the reaction you’re seeking for.
S*x makes a man feel close to you emotionally and physically, and if he doesn’t see he’s been a total jerk in real life emotionally, sadly, not sleeping with him is the only way to show him that something is not right. Men are basically like children, and your boyfriend will probably understand he’s been an ass if you stop giving him ‘treats’.
Another thing that will make this guy realize you’re worth fighting for is if you, all of a sudden, introducing some new moves in the bedroom after withholding s*x for a while. Trust me—he’ll wonder if some other guy showed you these new moves, and he will definitely start to chase you.
9. Flirt with other guys
Let’s get one thing straight: cheating is never an option you should consider! If you’re not satisfied with your relationship, you can always leave without destroying your dignity and starting an affair.
However, this doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to flirt with other guys, even though you’re taken and especially if this will help save your relationship.
According to most dating advice, the best thing you can do if you want to make him miss you is let your boyfriend notice that you’ve been texting other guys or that you’ve been talking to some men on your social media profiles. You can even invite some other guy out, without it having to lead to anything serious.
Nevertheless, do this only if absolutely necessary. If your boyfriend doesn’t pay any attention to you, do something about it, and show him that there are guys out there who would die to be with you.
Show him that he’s taking you for granted while he should be happy to have you in the first place.
Therefore, what you should do is find a good-looking guy and make a move on him. Provoke your man to show any kind of emotion, provoke him to be jealous.
If it’s hard to make sure he sees you talking to somebody else, try talking about your new coworker for example and the fact that all the women you work with are crazy about him or start mentioning your new male friend he knows nothing about.
Your boyfriend will probably wonder why you are talking about this guy all of a sudden. He will probably look more into it and bit by bit, he’s going to realize he is jealous and that he doesn’t want to give you up to some random guy. And in the end, if he cares for you, he will open his eyes and fight for you.
10. Talk to him
This is something no dating advice will ever tell you but if you’re trying to figure out how to make him realize he is losing you, simply talk to your partner. Forget about the silent treatment or the no contact rule—just try to be as honest as possible.
Sit him down, look him in the eye, and tell him everything that’s been bothering you.
First and foremost, do your best to make him remember why he fell in love with you in the first place. Remind him of those times when you just met and how things were easy.
After that, ask him to take a walk in your shoes–tell him that he’s taking you for granted and that he doesn’t respect you as he should.
Don’t allow him to convince you that you’re imagining things or to walk away until you have everything sorted out.
Actually this is always the best way to go, but unfortunately, most men don’t want to talk about these things because most of them don’t want to admit they have done something wrong.
Use these steps to bring him back because you know he loves you—he just took that love for granted and when this guy realizes that, he will be sorry.