Have you ever been dating a guy who just wonโt step up to the plate and show up for you the way you need him to? Maybe he seems like he is dragging his feet when it comes to officially asking you out. Maybe he seems reluctant to introduce you to his family and let them know that he is dating someone. Or maybe it feels like when his friends poke fun at you, he doesnโt step in to diffuse the situation. In other words, heโs really not being too mature โ it seems like he has to grow up a little bit before you can really get him to commit to you.
This is the difference between men and boys โ men will do everything to show you that they are ready to commit, while boys will typically drag their feet and make excuses as to why they arenโt doing the right thing. And letโs be real here, strong, independent women need strong men, not boys. When you date them both, the difference will be so obvious to you. Hereโs how a real man shows that he is ready to commit, and how a boy will reveal that he is nowhere near ready.
20A Real Man Will Be Honest About His Feelings
Here is one of the key differences between men and boys that will be easy to spot from the very start of the relationship. According toย Cosmopolitan, whether or not a guy will be straightforward about his feelings for you can either be a major green flag โ or a major red flag!
A real man will simply tell you how he is feeling. You wonโt have to try to be a mind reader and figure it out through little clues.
In fact, he wouldnโt want you to try โ he will be open with you because he cares about your emotional wellbeing.
19A Boy Will Make Excuses For His Hesitation
Weโve all been there โ youโre head over heels for a guy, heโs sending you mixed signals, and you just feel like youโre going crazy! One moment, things are hot, but the next, things are so cold, and you feel like you donโt know which way is up and which way is down. According toย Allure, this is a sign that a guy is just not mature enough for a real relationship yet. In other words, this is a sign that the guy you are dealing with is a boy, not a man. He will make excuse after excuse for hesitating.
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18A Real Man Will Simply Ask You Out
Have you ever gotten to know a guy and been surprised when he asked you out on a real date early on in the relationship? It does seem like going on real dates is going out of style these days, but according toย Teen Vogue, this is definitely a good sign! Sure, it may seem rare nowadays, but trust us, when a guy wants to take you out on a real date without dragging his feet, youโve probably found yourself a guy who is worth dating. Let him take you out on that nice date โ youโll probably have a great time!
17A Boy Will Play Hard To Get
In the past, it was common dating advice to โplay hard to getโโ but come on now, itโs time for all of us to get past that and start being mature about expressing our feelings. According toย Allure, playing hard to get is a sign that you are dealing with a man who is not emotionally mature.
Itโs one thing for a teenage guy to act like this in high school, but as you get older, this is not the kind of behavior you need to or should accept.
You can find a guy who will not run around and play games.
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16A Real Man Understands That You Have Your Own Life
Some guys want to be your whole life โ and at first, that can seem super romantic. Itโs understandable if you fall for a guy like this and get a little carried away. But according toย Self, you really want to look for a man who understands that you have your own life, independent of him.
A real man will want to be with a woman who knows how to be happy on her own and do her own thing.
He will be totally happy with you having goals, dreams, and hobbies that have nothing to do with him or your relationship.
15A Boy Will Want You To Make Him Your Whole Life
When you start dating a guy who seems to get jealous when youโre doing something that doesnโt involve him, itโs a major red flag โ and youโre definitely dating a boy, not a man. According toย Teen Vogue, this is something that women should really watch out for in relationships.
A guy who expects you will make him your whole world is not ready for something real, and he is putting way too much pressure on you.
A boy thinks that โlove is all you need,โ and while it sounds romantic, itโs not true โ we all need lives of our own.
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14A Real Man Doesnโt Keep Other Women On The Back Burner
Okay, this is a big one, especially in the age ofย dating apps.ย According toย Cosmopolitan, lots of men these days seem to have no issue with keeping former flings or just cute friends on the back burner in case things donโt work out with their current girlfriend. But a real man will have no problem cutting off these other women and giving you his all. He wonโt need other women around to fall back on โ heโll be too busy spending time with you and connecting with you to even think about other women from his past.
13A Boy Will Keep His Former Flingโs Number
Look, we all know that going through a guyโs phone isnโt the greatest idea โ sometimes you know that you have a reason to snoop, but the last thing you want is to get caught being sneaky! But according toย Glamour,ย sometimes youโll find something that should make you think twice. Does he keep numbers from women he had flings with in the past, but never had real friendships with? Thatโs a boy, not a man youโre dealing with. Being friends with an ex after things end is one thing, but keeping the number of a short term fling is not okay.
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12A Real Man Will Respect Your Friends
Have you ever dated a guy who just could not seem to get along with your friends? Itโs the worst, and it puts you in such an awkward position. According toย Self, the relationship between your friend group and your main guy is actually so important โ the Spice Girls let us all know! If a guy gets along well with your friends and has nothing but respect for them. He knows that it makes your life easier, and that it means the world to you when you can all hang out as a group and have an amazing time together!
11A Boy Will Get Jealous Of Your Friends
When youโre dating a guy who fits right in with your group of friends, life is a breeze, and you donโt have to deal with any drama. But when the guy youโre with doesnโt get along with your friends? Well, youโre probably going to be dealing with a serious obstacle there. According toย Seventeen, a man who either doesnโt make any effort to get along with your friends, or seems to get jealous whenever you spend time with your friends, is showing you that his jealousy will always be a problem in some way. Itโs better to leave him behind.
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10A Real Man Will Want To Meet Your Family
Look, if you want to be in a serious relationship that lasts for years to come, then meeting each otherโs families is a must. And a real man will not hesitate to introduce you to his family! According toย Cosmopolitan, this is a major sign that he is ready to take things to the next level, and that he does not just see you as a fling. After all, would a guy introduce a casual fling to his parents? No, probably not. A real man will want you to meet his parents as soon as he knows that things are serious.
9A Boy Will Avoid Meeting Your Parents
Now, weโve established that a real man will be enthusiastic about meeting your parents, and he will be happy to introduce you to his family, too. But what if youโre dating a guy who doesnโt seem to feel this way? Whatโs the deal with that? According toย Allure, if a guy is seriously hesitant to introduce you to his family, it means one of two things: either he has some major family drama behind the scenes, or he doesnโt see whatโs going on between you as a serious relationship. Either way, it is not a good sign for the two of you.
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8A Real Man Will Be Open About His Dating History
Look, talking about your dating history with your new boyfriend is never really easy, but at the same time, it certainly doesnโt hurt to have an understanding of what happened in each othersโ pasts. According toย Cosmopolitan, being able to have a mature conversation about your past relationships is a sign that you two have a positive future ahead of you. It means that you are not going to get jealous of people who have been a part of each otherโs lives before. This is a sign of maturity for both of you, and it shows you are meant to last.
7A Boy Will Beย Secretive About His Past
Ever get involved with a guy who seems like he just canโt openly talk about his past? Yup, it can be pretty irritating, and it can make you feel like he is being secretive, even when he isnโt. According toย Seventeen, a guy who canโt be honest about important moments that have happened in his romantic past may not really be ready for another relationship.
It might mean that he has not processed the pain that he went through, or that he is not totally over an ex-girlfriend.
Either way, itโs something to be a little wary of in the future.
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6A Real Man Will Take You On A Real Date
Look, there are guys out there who will count that going to the dining hall at college together is a real date, but ladies, weโre here to let you know that you do not have to settle for that, and you can find a man who will want to take you out on a real date. According toย Cosmopolitan, a man who wants to take you out on a real date that he has planned with your interests in mind is a winner. It doesnโt have to be expensive โ just something that makes you weekend a little bit more exciting!
5A Boy Wonโt Make Concrete Plans With You
Itโs a shame that so many men these days think that the height of romance is texting a girl just to say โWYD?โ Well, they would be boys โ not men. According toย Cosmopolitan, one sign that a guy is not ready to be truly serious with you and treat you as you deserve to be treated is that he wonโt make solid plans with you. If he just randomly hits up your phone on the weekend, weโre sorry to say that you have found yourself a boy, not a man, and he is not likely to get serious any time soon.
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4A Real Man Will Communicate Openly
Nowadays, it is so easy for rumors to get started and for wires to get crossed in terms of communication โ social media and texting make it easy for people to get confused about who said what. Itโs unfortunate, but itโs just the reality of the dating scene today. According toย Seventeen, one of the big signs that youโre dealing with a mature man and not just a boy is his communication skills. A real man will communicate with you openly โ when youโre with him and you know that youโre both on the same page, rumors wonโt even have a chance to start.
3A Boy Wonโt Always Answer You
Look, you canโt expect that your boyfriend will respond to all of your texts right away, and he shouldnโt expect the same of you โ thatโs just asking for too much. But according toย Allure, if a guy seems to be ignoring you or always taking way too long to respond, itโs a sign that the guy youโre with is a boy, not a man.
It means that he does not take communication as seriously as he should, and that he doesnโt care too much when he hears from you.
Itโs a tough pill to swallow, but itโs just the truth.
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2A Real Man Will Be Your Shoulder To Cry On
When you need a shoulder to cry on, a real man will be there for you. According toย Self, one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is your partnerโs ability to be there for you during difficult times โ and vice versa, you need to be able to do the same for your partner. A man who truly cares about you will be right there when you need help. Whether you just want to vent, or if you really need to cry it out, he wonโt leave your side for a moment โ heโll be right there with you.
1A Boy Will Give You Mixed Signals
This is one of the clearest distinctions between a boy and a man โ whether or not he sends you mixed signals. According toย Cosmopolitan, sending mixed signals is basically all the rage these days, with so many women simply settling for a guy who says things like, โWell, weโre โtogether,โ but weโre not really dating.โ Meanwhile, she really wants a relationship, and he is content to just string her along until something better comes his way. Ladies, do not settle for a boy who thinks itโs just fine to send mixed signals. Find a man who can be real with you.