Love advice

Conversation Starters For Couples: 45 Highly Effective Questions

As great as the honeymoon phase is, the fact is: eventually it will end. And then, you’ll be faced with the actual reality of your relationship, as opposed to a never-ending bubble of happiness that finally had to burst.

But don’t worry! With the right conversation topics, your relationship can only thrive, which is exactly what’s going to happen if you follow these phenomenal conversation starters for couples (that actually work).

They did wonders for me!

Let’s be honest, as much as you love your partner, sometimes, it’s such a hassle trying to find thought-provoking, exciting things to talk about the way you did on your first date.


But what if I told you that you can improve every future date night and that you’re far from becoming like those old married couples who are stuck in a rut?

With these great conversation starters, you’ll reconnect with your significant other and take your relationship to the next level. Great sex is definitely important, but if you speak two different love languages, you’re doomed!

With the help of these great questions, your next date night will be a breath of fresh air as they will bring you closer together with your best friend. Are you ready to spice things up with these awesome conversation topics?



These conversation starters can take your relationship to a deeper level and help you figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

You can ask anything from this list of questions on your romantic walk, during a road-trip, or while cooking together. Good conversation is almost like art, so find your window and ask away!

1. What’s your favorite memory of the two of us?

The best way to get your partner talking is by helping them reminisce about your favorite things you did together and going back to those first magical weeks of your relationship.


2. What’s the easiest way to bring a smile to your face?

Ask them what makes them happy. So simple!

Merely by thinking about the answer, your partner will feel pleased that you’re interested in making them happy and they’ll gladly answer ( probably with a smile on their face).

3. Would you rather have Starbucks get your order wrong or find a bike on a seemingly empty parking spot?

This is one of those funny conversation starters that will probably lead to more of these crack-me-up questions. Laughter is necessary for a healthy relationship, so just fire away!


4. When’s the last time you ate something and instantly regretted it?

This will surely open the floodgates to some really interesting conversations. Sometimes, brutal honesty is the pathway to a functional relationship (if you can’t be brutally real with them, what’s the point?)

5. How often do you resort to Amazon when you have a shitty day?

Be honest! We all have our off days when all we want to do is to hide behind our keyboard and purchase an unhealthy amount of things we don’t really need.

Sometimes, it’s literally my favorite thing to do, but I stop myself somewhat on time.

6. What’s your friendship deal-breaker?

Ask them what they could never forgive a friend for. It will give you a pretty clear idea of what they’re like as a person (and help you not do the thing in question).


7. Do you like spending time with your parents?

Family is important, but this will help you understand just how much he loves his family and how close they are. Spending time with my folks is always a treat, and I find that a really important thing in a person.

Does your SO feel the same way?

8. What’s the longest you’ve ever binged a Netflix show?

We’re all guilty of having Netflix marathons, and there’s no shame in that. Find out how long your partner can last binging an addictive show (you might like what you find out).


9. How much do you hate going to the grocery store on a scale from 1 to 10?

This is perfect for finding out if your SO is a couch potato who wants things done for them or if they’re someone who doesn’t mind doing regular chores like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.

10. What are the little things that get on your nerves more than they should?

Basically, what are their pet peeves? Does your SO get annoyed at people who yawn in public? Do they hate seeing people jay-walking?

Maybe they can’t stand seeing crumbs on the kitchen counter? It’s good to know what you’re dealing with.


11. What’s the weirdest date you’ve ever had?

Maybe you have completely different ideas of weird, or you’ll make your partner laugh out loud with your stories! Either way, this should be one of the more interesting conversation starters for couples.

12. If you could only have one type of food from today on, what would you choose?

For me, it would be pasta. I can’t live without pasta (any kind really).

What about your partner? Would they be able to make this incredibly difficult decision?

13. What do you consider to be the most important moral values?

This is definitely a thinker. But it’s also a really great question to find out if your significant other shares your values.

If you want to move to the next level, you have to be on the same page, right?


14. If you could meet and spend the day with any celebrity (dead or alive) who would you pick?

Maybe they’d love to spend a day with their favorite comedian? Maybe an important historical figure?

It should be interesting to see who they would pick and why! Be sure to get all the reasoning behind their decision.

15. What’s the craziest thing you’re dying to try out someday?

Is your significant other a daredevil? Do they want to go rock climbing?

Maybe they want to go skydiving? Dive with sharks?

I’d love to have someone ask me this, as I’d have some really shocking answers. Maybe your SO will too!



And now we move to the fun zone! Let’s have some really random yet hilarious conversations and help you find that shared love of laughter with your partner!

Who doesn’t love to be cracked up? Here are your best bets to make your SO see what a weirdly funny person they’re with!


16. Would you rather relive your worst date or your most awkward teen phase?

We ALL have some seriously awkward teen stories that we just want to forget ever happened. Give your partner a really tough choice.

What will it be? A date night from hell or an embarrassing phase from their teen years?

17. What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents caught you doing?

Okay, this might be too awkward to share, but make them! I’m not even going to suggest what it might be as I can only imagine. Is your SO comfortable enough to tell you this?

18. If you could be any cartoon character, who would you be and why?

Come on, we all used to binge cartoons when that was all we could do. I’m sure that your partner already knows their answer and it would be really intriguing to hear who they pick.


19. Choose between cleaning the bathroom or washing the dishes for the whole year?

Who loves chores? I mean, we all have to do them, obviously. But there are some things I just wish I didn’t have to do around the house.

What is your partner’s chore from hell?

20. Have you ever accidentally kissed someone who was going for a hug?

Cringe! Possibly one of my least favorite things in the world. Who hasn’t had that happen to them?

So awkward. So it’s only fitting to hear your partner’s most embarrassing encounter.


21. Would you rather be stuck in an elevator with an ex or in a creepy museum with a clown?

Now, this is something they won’t expect. And if you ask me, both are equally undesirable.

But honestly, it would be such a funny (and beyond creepy) thing to have to experience, right?

22. Would you rather go to work in your most casual attire or drink bad coffee all month?

Such a funny concept. Hmm. Would your SO rather be severely underdressed in front of his entire office or have incredibly bad coffee (that he can’t live without) for an entire month. Good luck with this one.

23. What’s one weird thing you love that everyone else is disgusted by?

Does your partner secretly love eating Nutella with jam? Do they enjoy being stuck in traffic?

What weird thing are they a fan of that they’d never tell anyone (but you of course)?


24. Would you rather have your worst nightmare come to life or have everyone hear your thoughts for a day?

Honestly, both of these are equally terrifying! I can’t imagine having an answer, but be sure to test your partner’s limits.

25. Would you rather drink an entire bottle of warm beer or eat a three-day-old sandwich?

Make it as awful as possible. The more disgusting, the better!

You’ll both die laughing at these answers, just like my boyfriend and I did when I made his life hell with these questions.

26. What’s the most useless thing you’re proud to do?

Find out your SO’s hidden party trick (that isn’t actually impressive one bit).


27. Have you ever been on a blind date? If so, share the story!

Blind dates can be such a cringe-fest. Find out all the deets and don’t let them off the hook.

Make them share every single thing that went wrong.

28. What’s the weirdest thing you thought was perfectly normal when you were a kid?

We all realize a thing or two when we grow up and see how weird some things are (despite thinking they’re normal way back when). What’s that thing with your partner?


29. What’s the most uncomfortable situation you’ve ever been in public?

Maybe they got drunk and got caught writing dirty things on a public building? Maybe they forgot they were still in their PJs?

Sharing is caring, so have them tell you and maybe you can reciprocate.

30. What are your weirdest quirks?

We all have them, no need to be shy. If your relationship is as strong as you think, you should be able to share the weirdest things about yourselves.



In this section, we’ll cover some deep questions that will help you engage in much-needed real talk with your SO and truly take your relationship to a deeper level.

You broke the ice with the funny questions so now it’s time to turn up the heat and have some grown-up conversations. Ready?

31. Would you say you’re an introvert or an extrovert?

You probably already have a good idea of what they’re like, but it’s necessary to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Hearing how your partner sees themselves will help you understand them better.


32. What’s your biggest regret in life?

As sad as it is, we all have some regrets in life. At the time, it may have seemed like a good idea, but in hindsight, it was anything but.

Can your partner share this with you?

33. What’s the worst thing you ever did to someone you loved?

This is some raw real talk. Sharing these things might bring back complex emotions of shame, so approach the subject carefully.

It would be really amazing to hear how your partner has matured since.


34. Do you easily engage in conflict?

You need to know how easily irritated they are. Can your SO stay calm in difficult situations or do they immediately go to war-mode when the pressure’s high?

35. Have you ever cheated / been cheated on?

This is also a heavy subject, one that your partner might be hesitant to discuss in detail, but it might be therapeutic to open up. See if he’s willing to talk without pressuring them.


36. What’s your favorite memory and your least favorite one from your childhood?

This might help you get to know their background and where they come from. How we grow up shapes us to become who we are today.

37. When’s the last time you told your parents you love them?

Is he afraid to say those words? Can he share his feelings easily?

It’s also an indication of how he’s going to act toward you the more your relationship progresses.


38. Do you believe in love at first sight?

When you know, you just know. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known the person for two days or two months.

Sometimes it’s just so easy to recognize the real deal. Does your partner feel this way too?

39. What is your biggest weakness?

Knowing your own faults is a sign of a mature, self-aware person. Does your SO know where they lack and can they share that with you without the fear of being judged?


40. Do you always have to be right during arguments?

In relationships, compromise is key. You have to be able to admit when you’re wrong for the sake of the partnership.

Can your partner admit when he’s wrong? It’s a crucial thing to find out on time.

41. What motivates you to get up each morning?

Is it their admirable work ethic? Is it the thought of making their family proud? Is it you?

We all have something that keeps us going when we don’t want to. It’s worth finding out what that is for your partner.


42. What’s your biggest insecurity?

Maybe they’re not happy with their physical appearance? Or they feel self-conscious about being overly shy among new people?

Can your SO share their insecurities with you?

43. Do you feel like there’s something missing from your life?

This is a really deep territory to delve into, but precisely questions like this one will help you forge a strong bond with your partner. This is something you’ll only share with those you are closest to.


44. What do you consider to be my biggest shortcoming in our relationship?

Are you ready to find out how your partner truly feels about you? If you can handle being brutally honest (with the intention of figuring it all out), ask away and hear them out.

Maybe this will be the turning point in your relationship.

45. Do you think our relationship has a future?

And finally, see once and for all how your SO sees your relationship. This could ignite you both to discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And if you’re both willing to fight for each other, this will propel you to heights you never knew you could reach.


And Finally…

Before you engage in these conversation starters for couples and open the floodgates, consider these things first. This will help you get a desirable outcome and connect with your partner no matter how harsh the questions might be.

Remember, this is about connecting, not making them feel exposed.

• Wait for the perfect timing. Don’t start firing away if your SO is obviously struggling. Finding your window is crucial in getting what you want out of these questions.

• Be kind, gentle, and mindful. Don’t get upset if you don’t hear what you were hoping for. We all have the right to our own feelings and our own stories.


• For a good conversation, you need to let your partner talk. Once you ask, give them a fair chance to respond. Don’t interrupt and don’t judge. Just listen and observe.

• Be confident when asking the tough questions. One of you has to initiate the real talk, so why not you? It will be your chance to grow as a couple and bond more than ever.

• Make sure your SO knows that this comes from a place of love. You want to grow together, therefore, you need to be real with each other. Honesty and transparency are the only things that will help you reconnect with your favorite person.



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