Being in love is probably one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. Your knees go weak, butterflies fly in your stomach, and you can only think about one person. But being in love can also turn into a nightmare trip—when you are in a relationship and your feelings are not for your partner but for someone else. But what do you do if it hits you outside of the relationship?
Have you been flirting with the handsome colleague from the office for a while now or making eyes at the hot guy from the gym, even though you’re already in a relationship? As long as it stays that way, of course, that’s not a problem! Especially when you’re in a long-term relationship, a little harmless confirmation from outside is good. But then, all of a sudden, you’re increasingly seeking contact with your acquaintance and would much rather go to the concert or on the adventure trip that’s been planned for so long with your crush than with your boyfriend. And then you catch yourself starting to think: What if? If the other man were permanently by your side and not your current partner!
While being in love is usually exciting and inspiring, it can become a real problem when the butterflies in your stomach are no longer for your partner but for your nice colleague, your long-time friend, or the attractive guy from the bar. It happens again and again that people develop romantic feelings for someone else despite being in a committed relationship. Many people who are in love with someone else suffer from a guilty conscience toward the man by their side, but what should you do if you have fallen deeply in love with someone else despite being in a relationship? Should you live out your feelings or suppress them?
In love with someone else: Don’t rush into anything!
The main role in your dreams is suddenly no longer played by your partner but by your secret crush. Then take a deep breath! You should not rush into anything, because sometimes great infatuations turn out to be a temporary rush. So think carefully about whether it is really love or just a little crush.
Many people who are in a committed relationship but fall in love with someone else frequently have second thoughts about whether this might be a sign that something is wrong in their relationship. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that. We usually have a whole series of expectations of our partners that one person alone cannot fulfill. People who cheat or develop feelings for someone else often, on closer inspection, value one or more aspects of their relationship. With the outside relationship, they are simply satisfying needs that have no place in their main relationship. In long-term relationships in particular, the excitement and spark of the beginning of the romance are lost, and this is exactly the feeling that people who are in love with someone else are usually looking for and possibly finding another person. But you should be aware that this excitement will also fade at some point.
In love with someone else: serious or fun?
Of course, new love can also be something like a “jumping off” from an unhappy relationship, but in most cases, it is just a little crush. And that is totally acceptable—as long as both parties see it as merely a game and do not pose a serious threat to the primary relationship. In most cases, being in love with someone else has nothing to do with cheating. Most women are faithful to their partner, although they occasionally rave about another man.
However, if you are lying in bed with your partner but can only think about the other person, if you are bored at dinner with your boyfriend and would prefer to skip dessert so that the evening doesn’t drag on any longer if you don’t feel like taking photos together and are less and less looking forward to seeing your sweetheart after a long day and spending the evening together, then there seems to be a serious problem. If the infatuation has turned into a real affair or is threatening to become one and you are head over heels in love with someone else, you should be fair to your partner and talk openly with them about your feelings. Sooner or later you will have to make a decision; otherwise, it will be a nightmare trip for everyone involved.
Getting along well with another person and maybe flirting a little doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the relationship. But you should ask yourself the following questions: Is it just a fun crush, a little game, a temporary affair, or has your flirting been going on for a long time and is becoming more intense rather than less interesting? Try to figure out for yourself how you feel about this person. And above all, how you feel about your relationship and your partner.
