8 Misunderstandings That Guys Have About Dating Girls With High Standards
A narcissist will rarely get hooked up on just anyone.
In fact, their selection is never random; they’re always looking for the most suited victims for their abuse.
And it has been shown that most of the narcissist victims are women who suffer from anxiety disorder.
So, there has to be some kind of connection between the two. Let’s look into it.
1. A narcissist never takes responsibility…
One of the most common characteristics of all narcissists out there is that they never consider themself guilty for anything they say or do.
These are the people who usually have zero conscience and never admit that they’re wrong.
Even when they see their mistake, they never admit it to anyone else – especially not their victims.
Even though deep down they see their imperfections, narcissists have the need to present themselves as flawless.
They’re not like the rest of us mortals.
They don’t make errors, repent for their misdeeds, or apologize when they’ve done you harm.
Of course, this is all a part of their manipulative tactic.
Pretending to be too good to be true in the beginning is a way of a narcissist to get under your skin.
Lately, he gets away with his sins as he never admits them and always finds an excuse for his toxic behavior.
2. …while people with anxiety think they’re always to blame
On the other hand, people with anxiety disorder always put all the blame on themselves.
And that is what suits the narcissist the best.
You see, even if a narcissist tells you he’s sorry, somehow he’ll manage to twist the entire situation around and you will never get a genuine apology.
Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he’ll end up convincing his anxious victim that she made him react that way, that he for example cheated because she wasn’t giving him enough attention, or that he insulted (or even hit her) for her own good.
Sounds absurd, I know.
However, if you’re anxious and insecure about yourself, something like this is easy to believe.
Besides, a man with a narcissist disorder will brainwash you for months and years.
He’ll blame you for every little thing that happens and for every failure of your relationship until you’re manipulated into seeing things that way too.
3. A narcissist makes their victims feel like they’re not enough…
Let’s get one thing straight: A narcissist’s ego is fragile.
Despite popular opinion, these people don’t think highly of themselves and have an awfully low self-esteem.
Nevertheless, instead of working on these issues, they choose a different model of behavior.
They decide to start acting completely the opposite to what they feel and pretending that they’re self-confident in order for others to see them that way as well.
So, when you first meet a man like this, you admire his sense of self-worth without actually knowing what’s hidden underneath the surface.
The problem isn’t in this guy’s cockiness, it is in the way he bases his self-value on humiliating others.
A narcissist constantly compares himself to everyone around him – especially to his victim – and the only way for him to feel good is to be above you.
Consequently, this guy uses every opportunity to put you down.
He insults you, calls you names, diminish your worth, makes fun of you. He claims that your friends, education, or career are good for nothing.
He makes you compare yourself to other girls. And the list goes on.
He makes you the submissive one in your relationship.
The feeling of dominance he has over you gives him a sense of power and self-worth.
4. …while anxious people already have self-doubts
And who do you think is the best for this magic trick? Well, no one but a girl who is already struggling with anxiety and insecurities.
An anxious woman is the most suited victim of a narcissists abuse because she already thinks she is not enough.
So, a narcissist has no trouble making her believe that she really isn’t worth anything.
This guy puts all of his efforts into convincing you that you’re not meant to be loved, that you should be lucky that he agreed to be with you, despite the way he’s treating you, and that nobody else would ever look at you.
You’re not pretty or beautiful enough.
You’re stupid, crazy, incapable of doing anything with your life, and you would be a total failure if it weren’t for him – your savior and the only person in this world who could ever love you the way you are.
5. A narcissist uses fear…
Another technique all narcissists use to control their victims and to keep them by their side is fear.
When you hear this, you probably assume that this man threatens to kill you or beat you up, but there is much more to fear than physical threats, even though they’re also usually included in narcissistic abuse.
He might emotionally blackmail you and tell you that he’ll do something to himself if you leave him.
Or he threatens to expose all of your secrets to your closest ones or publish your private videos and photos – the possibilities are endless.
He promises that he’ll destroy you if you walk away on him or that he’ll haunt you for as long as you’re alive.
Either way, the bottom line is the same.
This man doesn’t keep you physically locked up next to him, but he definitely does keep you hostage in another way.
6. …while anxiety disorder makes you afraid
Naturally, someone with anxiety is the perfect target for this kind of behavior.
After all, your anxiety disorder makes you afraid on its own.
You’re an overthinker and pessimist who always expects the worst case scenario.
So, how could you assume that this man’s threats are in vain?
How could you see that he is actually nothing but a coward who wouldn’t have the guts to do anything about it?
Most importantly, how could you deal with this new fear, when you’re already struggling with the ones you already have?
How can you look at it straight in the eyes and eventually chase it away?
You can’t, right? Well, sadly, your narcissistic boyfriend knows that and uses it to his advantage.
7. A narcissist gaslights their victims…
All narcissists have a habit of using a toxic tactic called gaslighting.
They lie, tell half-truths, and do everything in their power to change the course of events in your head.
They’re playing with your mind, trying to make you feel like you’re the crazy one.
Every time you two argue about something, a narcissist claims that you didn’t hear things right, that you misinterpreted them, or that you made a big deal out of nothing.
In most extreme cases, a narcissist will try to convince you that some things from your past never even happened.
It is all in your head and you’re imagining things just to accuse him of being a bad guy.
Basically, they want to brainwash you to the point where you’ll believe them over your own brain and where you’ll start doubting your own sanity.
8. …who don’t trust their own judgments
On the other hand, when you’re dealing with an anxiety disorder, it won’t take you long before you start believing him, since you already question your judgment-making skills.
Is your memory right or is this man telling the truth?
Is your mind playing tricks on you?
Are you seeing things worse than they actually are due to your pessimism and insecurities?
Well, the answer is no.
You’ve everything but crazy and you have a more vivid remembrance of the past because of the pain it caused you.
9. A narcissist makes their victim emotionally dependent…
Every narcissist needs to be needed because that gives him a sense of worth.
And to accomplish that, he makes sure his victims become emotionally dependent on him.
At first, he pretends to be the best man you ever met.
He gives you his entire soul and heart, does you favors and helps you out whenever he can.
Of course, after a while, you start relying on him.
You count on the fact that this man isn’t going anywhere and you’re more than happy for finally finding someone to share your life difficulties with.
But the moment he recognizes that, a narcissist backs out.
However, he doesn’t leave you hanging for good. He just wants you to see how emotionally dependent you’ve actually become on him.
So, he manages to convince you that you can’t make it without him.
And he makes your biggest nightmare the fear of losing him.
10. …while anxious people are scared of abandonment
If you’re an anxious person, you’re constantly obsessed with the thought that everyone you love will walk away on you sooner or later.
You’ll do something to chase them away, they’ll get tired of your demanding personality, or they’ll just stop loving you.
Well, these abandonment issues you’re dealing with is exactly what this guy uses against you.
He knows you’re terrified of the mere thought of him leaving you on your own, and he is always keeping your traumas alive.