Is he seriously taking you for granted? That’s a serious accusation to make, and you shouldn’t make it without the solid proof he is really taking you for granted. Sadly, putting someone in the Plan B happens so much more in modern relationships. No one appreciates anyone anymore because they are so certain they will find someone else. That is one of the reasons why taking someone for granted sneaks its way into a once happy relationship.
To really become positive about your suspicions, first, you have to be objective, and try not to involve too many emotions into evaluating whether he is taking you for granted or not. Don’t omit anything he does, and most importantly, don’t make excuses for him in the process of evaluating what is his deal. Look at everything, from little things to huge ones because they are all equally important.
I’m sure you’ve realized by now that you’ve missed so many sure signs telling you that he is not appreciating you as he used to. If you did, don’t let that lower your spirits and discourage you. You’re not less worthy, and you’re not stupid for missing out on whatever was going on right in front of your nose. You’re not the one to blame that your significant other is about to become an insignificant asshole.
A guy who obviously didn’t love you enough in the first place doesn’t deserve your second chance. Here are the signs that will open your eyes and show what his true intentions are.
1. He stopped treating you with respect
Respect is one thing besides love which should never run out in a relationship. Your partner has to acknowledge you even for the small things you’ve done. It’s important that you know he appreciates you and your effort. Once he stops seeing all your effort, consider that as not a good sign. It’s the beginning of a taking you for granted journey you don’t want to be on.
If he’s making plans without you knowing, then you have a big red warning sign that something is seriously wrong. Making plans alone instead of involving you means he is not even interested if you can participate in those plans or not. What you want in this case is not an option. Ask any relationship expert if this behavior is worthy of putting up with, they will all give you the same answer—your relationship is dead, and there is no point in saving it.
2. He doesn’t care what you think
Experiencing this feeling can seriously affect your self-esteem. His indifferent reactions make you feel insignificant and unimportant. No one should ever feel like that, especially in a relationship where your partner should make you feel special and loved. He’s not making you feel anything except shame and a sense of less worth.
If your significant other is faced with difficult choices in life, it’s normal and natural for them to turn to you for advice. Your boyfriend has stopped letting you in on those big moments and decisions in life. It’s because you don’t matter to him as much as you used to. Healthy relationships imply unconditional love and most importantly, trust. You have lost the trust and perhaps even love.
3. He stopped trying around you
He’s not taking you to nice dates anymore. He’s not even trying to do anything romantic anymore. Your relationship has been stuck in a rut, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. He’s even stopped trying to look good for you. I’m not saying he should groom himself all the time to look like a model when he’s with you, don’t get me wrong. He should be relaxed around you, but isn’t there a line between being relaxed and not giving a damn? I mean if boxers are the only thing he ever wears around you and you’re home all the time…is that really nice of him to do?
Or is it the result of a lack of trying? I’ll let you be the judge of that. Think carefully: has your long term relationship got itself into a crisis and you need to change something ASAP or is it that he’s just not into you anymore, so he’s taking you for granted?
4. He doesn’t listen when you talk
When you talk, he does his own thing. He is not paying attention to anything you say, and the reason is more than simple—he doesn’t care about you, things that you say or things that you think about. Your communication is going south which is never a good thing for a relationship. Human beings are created to live and communicate with each other, so everything else is just not natural.
When communication ceases to exist, your relationship is facing some serious issues.
5. His friends are more important than you
I’m not saying he should be by your side and hang out with you all the time, but if there ever comes a point in your relationship where he chooses to spend time with his friends rather than you, he’s most definitely taking you for granted. Don’t blow this out of proportion. If he rejects you once to go with his friends, it doesn’t have to mean he stopped caring about you. You have to let him have his social life outside of your relationship.
But if this starts happening on a regular basis, then you should start worrying. The first thing that comes to mind is that he is slowly losing interest in you.
6. He avoids intimacy
When was the last time you were intimate? Do you remember? The lack of physical intimacy is definitely one of the alarming signs that your relationship is facing trouble. Passion is one of the things that should always be present in a relationship, no matter what. If you don’t attract each other physically, that relationship is doomed to fail sooner or later.
The same goes for emotional intimacy. You should be able and free to talk about your feelings with your partner. Being vulnerable is not something you should be ashamed of, especially when you’re with your loved one. He has to give you emotional support and ensure you feel safe and protected when he’s around.
7. He hasn’t introduced you to his family
My family is everything to me, as I’m sure yours to you, too. He is no exception either. Wouldn’t it be completely normal for him to introduce you to his loved ones if he was serious about you? I would do it, and you would do the same. Why hasn’t he done it yet?
The answer is devastating. He is losing interest in you, and eventually, he’s planning to break up with you. These problems are quite serious, and there is no easy solution that comes to mind. Although you can always try to talk to your boyfriend using complete honesty to try to solve what’s holding him down in your relationship, usually, when someone starts taking you for granted, it means you’re more or less done.
How to make him regret taking you for granted?
There are always some options you can look at. The one I’m suggesting means it’s definitely over and there is no point in trying to revive your relationship. When he takes you for granted, ignore him. But, this means you’re done. You get to play the upper hand and win at whatever stupid childish game he was playing. At least, you’re getting the satisfaction of winning and walking away from him, instead of him from you.
But, there are other options, too, which might intrigue him and get him hooked back…
7 Things to do about him taking you for granted
1. Have fun by yourself
Don’t even bother to ask him what he’s doing that night if you know that he’s going to have some lame excuse for not going out with you. Instead, go out on a date with yourself. Do something that you will enjoy doing even when you know that he wouldn’t enjoy it with you. There are so many things you stopped doing since you two started your relationship, so go do those things right now. Oh, and don’t forget to take a picture and post it somewhere he will see it. Let him ask himself why you didn’t even invite him.
2. Don’t answer his messages right away
Women have this urge to answer messages right away. I mean it’s polite, and that’s how it’s supposed to be done if you have your phone by your hand. But now that he’s taking you for granted and he doesn’t know how hard it is for you when you have to wait a whole day before he answers, ignore the urge to text him back. Make him feel your pain. Don’t answer him. You could even leave him on ‘read’.
3. Dress to impress
No matter how often you dress nicely, double it! Dress yourself so nicely that he drools every time you walk by. Let him see what he’s losing. Men really are visual creatures, and if he sees you that hot and sexy, he’ll instantly come after you. But don’t let him touch you. Physical touch is off limits until he starts appreciating your presence in his life again. I know that this sounds like manipulation but if he doesn’t see what he’s losing and that you won’t even let him touch you, he won’t realize what’s going on and he won’t be able to ‘read the signals’ you’re trying to send him.
4. Go out with your friends
Go out to parties, have fun with your girlfriends, let him see that you are able to have a wonderful life without him. Plan an all-girls weekend for your birthday, and don’t allow him to join the party. Let him know that he’s not invited. He doesn’t deserve to be there and make your special day miserable.
5. Cancel plans with him
Believe me, I know it’s hard. You want to spend more time with him because you love him, but this is the best way for you to let him know that something isn’t right. If he calls you to go out, then politely tell him that you don’t want to, and if you have already made plans with him, then cancel them and tell him that you have something important to do for work. Either way, it will pay off.
6. Don’t talk to him about your life
Withhold information about your life right now. At one point when you’re talking to him and he asks you about why you haven’t told him that before, choose a passive-aggressive answer like, “I saw that you were too busy to actually care.” These sentences hit the spot even though they may sound a bit rough. After all this time taking you for granted, show him that you are not OK with his behavior.
7. Talk to him
After you have decided that it is enough with the games, try the old but gold technique of talking things through. You may have tried it before all of this, but now is the right time to talk about the issue. Tell him how you have been feeling lately, and tell him that you aren’t happy in your relationship because he doesn’t appreciate you and what you’re doing for him.
I’ve said this already—communication is the key to every happy relationship. Tell him that he only takes from the relationship without giving anything back, and see what happens. If he says that he is going to change his behavior, then you should give him a chance, but be careful with how many chances you’re giving out and is it worth the trouble?