Only you know how you feel. No one can compare to you. Your pain is only yours. I can tell you I understand, I can tell you I know how it feels, but your heartbreak and mine are not the same.
Yes, we were both left broken. Yes, we both felt the horror of someone walking away from us. But we felt it differently.
I can only tell you that it’s going to pass. Soon, it will be all over with. I can tell you it hurt me like hell as well. I wanted my life to end, I felt foolish, played and betrayed. I felt unwanted.
I know you kind of feel the same way and I want to tell you—hold on just a bit longer.
There will be days when you think your struggle has come to an end. You’re just about to go out with your friends, you’re getting dressed, but out of the middle of nowhere, all of a sudden, you don’t want to go anywhere. That horrible feeling consumes you and all you want to do is crawl back into bed.
There will be times when he will pop into your mind uninvited. You’ll see someone or something on the street that will remind you of him. You’ll be triggered by something small and silly and all the memories will come rushing back.
These things will happen a lot and they are supposed to happen. You cannot get over a heartbreak in a day. Sadly, you have to suffer, you have to hurt, but you’ll get out of it stronger and smarter.
But what you have to do is keep taking each day step by step, even if sometimes that step seems more like a crawl…
1. Cry for as long as you need
Allow yourself to break down. Scream, smash things, cry. Do whatever the hell you want. Close yourself inside your four walls and be alone. Spend as much time as you need completely alone. Deal with your shit and get over it. No one is going to do it for you.
Let your bedroom become your prison and suffer for as long as you need. Curse at the world, curse at him, curse at yourself for letting it bother you.
Hit rock bottom, get to a situation where you don’t have anything to lose, when you’re at your breaking point, because you can only go up from there.
It’s okay to be sad. In those moments of total despair, when you’re fighting to get back to normal, you come to so many realizations. You realize that you’re the only person guaranteed to give the love you deserve to yourself.
2. Love every inch of your body
You’re beautiful. Your body is perfect just the way it is. You’re one unique person and there is no one else in the world like you. Why wouldn’t you love yourself? Isn’t that the most special thing about you, about all of us? We are all unique and irreplaceable.
Don’t listen to anyone. Don’t obsess over why he left you. Is it the way you look? Is it because you’re not pretty enough for him? That is crap. Erase all of those thoughts from your head because they are complete BS.
3. Remind yourself that you’re beautiful
Look deep into yourself and remember all the things you like about yourself. Remember all the things you’re good at. Single out all the things that are different about you.
You’ll find the love you’ve lost and the self-respect you’ve misplaced somewhere deep inside you. Let it shine again, let it reveal all your talents and abilities.
Remember what a beautiful person you are.
4. Make your heart come alive again
Someone left you, someone walked away from you, but that is not how your story ends. It’s just one chapter. Grieving is another and healing is the one of the tough periods ahead of you.
You’re going to fall in love again. You’re not going to be sure he won’t hurt you either but you’ll love. You’ll give him everything you have, you’ll go all-in, like you always do.
Your heart will skip a beat when you are around him. You’ll feel butterflies in your stomach. Love will find its way to you once again. You will feel alive again. And if you get hurt, you’ll go through everything once again. And you’ll become even better and stronger.
5. Don’t mask your pain
Don’t pretend you’re okay. Don’t lie to others or yourself. I know you think you have to put on a fake smile because you have to be strong all the time. But that is not true. You don’t have to be tough and you don’t have to smile all the time.
If you want, act how you feel. Be a total asshole, be angry, be grumpy, be sad. Be whatever you feel like. Don’t try to hide your pain. Don’t try to hide your vulnerability. You’re not a machine.
You are a woman. You are a woman with a broken heart. You are a woman in pain.
For now, don’t try to be anything else.