Are you looking for true love, but somehow it just doesn’t work out? Maybe you’re sending out signals that make you seem desperate—without even realizing it. We’ll show you here which typical behaviors have this effect and could scare off potential partners. And to make your next date go better, we’ll also show you how you can appear confident and attractive to the person you’re dating instead…
#1 Constant availability
Is your phone your best friend? Be careful! If you always answer immediately and are online 24/7, you quickly come across as needy. It’s tempting to respond to every message immediately, but that can give the impression that you don’t have a life of your own. Give yourself and the other person space to breathe. Enjoy some offline time and let your date wait a little for your answer. That creates excitement and interest! Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should keep him or her waiting forever—because that signals disinterest. But a healthy balance definitely can’t hurt.
#2 Too much, too fast
Are you already planning your future together even though you barely know each other? Slow down! Hasty declarations of love or hasty desires for a relationship can be off-putting; after all, you want to get to know each other first and see if you can imagine more. It’s wonderful if you feel connected quickly, but don’t overwhelm your date with plans and big feelings. Give the relationship time to grow. Instead, concentrate on enjoying the moment and getting to know the other person.
#3: Self-depreciation as a strategy
Do you think that self-criticism will get you compliments? The opposite is true! Constantly putting people down will make you less attractive. Sentences like “I’m not that interesting” or “I’m sure you’ll find someone better” signal to the other person that you have a lack of self-esteem, and that can quickly become a no-go. Instead, show your strengths and own up to your weaknesses. Self-irony can be charming but don’t overdo it. A healthy self-confidence is much more attractive than false modesty.
#4 Excessive questioning & clinging
Do you bombard your date with questions like “Where are you right now?” or “When will we see each other again?” when you don’t hear back? Stop! This behavior signals insecurity and can be overwhelming. Trust that your date will get in touch if he or she is interested in getting to know you better. In the meantime, focus on your own life and your hobbies and interests. A person who does their own thing is much more attractive than someone who is constantly glued to their phone waiting for messages.
#5 Over-adaptation & yes-saying
Do you agree to everything just to please others? That quickly comes across as insecure to other people. Whether it’s about choosing a restaurant or basic values - dare to express a different opinion sometimes. Authenticity makes you interesting! Nobody is looking for a yes-man as a partner. Show the other person that you have your thoughts and preferences. That not only makes you more special but is also the basis for an equal healthy relationship.
