Relationship advice

4 Things To Keep In Mind If You Want To Refresh A Long Relationship

  When it comes to love and relationships, every beginning is kind of exciting. It feels like the rest of the world suddenly vanished and there are just the two of you. Music sounds better, food is more delicious, the sun shines for you, rain seems romantic, and that tiny bed you share transformed into one vast, blissful universe. Sounds familiar, right? Falling in love simply pops, but it takes a lot of effort in order to keep love alive and ubiquitous. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but reality has to strike you after some time. And what happens? Well, butterflies in your tummy retire and some of his or her flaws stop being cute, such as snoring peacefully next to you. I bet we all wonder what keeps some couples in love and happy throughout their lives and relationships, even after so much time spent together. Keep reading if you wish to know their secrets!  

Be (and stay) best friends

There is a Turkish proverb that says ‘No road is long with good company’. We all know at least one couple whose relationship developed from friendship. Friendship is the firmest foundation of any relationship (or marriage) since it includes some key ingredients such as respect, trust and honesty. Never fight in front of other people. Respect his or her family and friends (even if you don’t like them). Also, always respect each other’s privacy. For example, checking your partner’s phone is very disrespectful, and it means you have trust issues. However, if your partner is your best friend, you will always tell him or her everything that bothers you or makes you happy. Always discuss everything together. If your partner is the first person that comes to your mind when you need to talk to someone, you are on the right path. Run to each other, not from each other! Friendship also means sharing, so you can’t expect your relationship to last if you just take and don’t give. Sharing responsibilities such as cleaning your place, as well as sharing expenses (he or she is your partner, not your sponsor!) is good because you need to be equal if you want a stable relationship.  

Have fun together

Boredom and routine are sneaky killers that slowly ruin your relationship. Remember how you spent hours and hours of having fun when you just started dating? Why not doing that again? Perhaps you will say that you are busier than ever, your time is limited, or some things you did are not age-appropriate anymore. But guess what? Stop making excuses! If you want to bring the old flame back, you need to enjoy life together. There are plenty of things that you can do together. Have at least two days in a week that are dedicated to you only. Try something new together (for example, food that both of you have never tasted). You can go dancing, get drunk, travel, watch movies, play sports, have a nice dinner at the restaurant. So many old couples told me that laughing together is the recipe for a long-term (and fun!) relationship because even when problems hit you, everything is easier when you have someone to put a smile on your face.  

Importance of intimacy and physical affection (and s*x, yes!)

Probably most of us can describe how it felt when we kissed our boyfriend or girlfriend for the very first time. There is a lot of science behind understanding why intimacy, physical affection, and s*x are so important to humans. I think most people in long relationships strongly believe physical intimacy is as important as the emotional one. I have heard so many times that people stayed in a (bad) relationship just because s*x was great. But, there are also examples of couples breaking up because there was no match when it comes to physical love and s*x. If you are still attracted to your partner (in a physical way), that is beautiful. Enjoying physical intimacy and s*x is making the bond between you become even stronger. However, there is more! Kissing, hugging, and cuddling should be included in couple’s intimacy, too.   Showing affection in a long relationship is even more important than in the beginning. By making time for intimacy (even when our schedule is crazy), we prove to our partner that we are still attracted to him or her, and that we care about our relationship. Kiss your partner before you leave the house (even if he or she is sleeping). Oh, and don’t forget: physical affection and s*x are making you healthier, too!

Improve yourself

Happy relationships are made of healthy individuals, so you must not lose yourself in a relationship. It means you still deserve ‘me-time’, so you should do things you like, as well as enjoy music, books, and movies you like, etc. However, improving yourself is immensely important in every relationship. It means you should work on your flaws and keep making yourself better. You can make a list of things you think you need to change and/or improve (for example, eat healthier, be more patient, start exercising). Learn something new every day, pay attention to your habits, become a better person! That will make you love yourself more, but your partner will recognize it, too. Active people and people who bring positive energy are more attractive. It’s simple: stronger individual = stronger relationship.   You should not forget to pay attention to your looks, too. Some people in long relationships relax too much, and stop caring about their looks. Of course, don’t be obsessed with the way you look, but keep in mind that wearing PJ all day and not having shower for days is not appealing at all. I’m not saying you should have a perfect hair every day, but making yourself look beautiful will make you feel beautiful, too. Don’t forget that relationships are ‘alive’. It is up to you and your partner if you will leave it to die. Maintaining a good relationship is not easy, but if you have found a person you think is worth it, you should consider yourself lucky.  


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