Perhaps there are many reasons why you’re struggling to find your true love. However, being overly romantic doesn’t help you either. And here’s why!

1. You are convinced love is supposed to be better than life.

If you have been learning about love from books and movies—you know nothing about it. Still, all of that seems so real to you and you feel that is the only way you should feel when it comes to love. Reality is completely different from romantic movies. You know that, but you still expect love to be something magical and beautiful, something that overcomes the harsh reality of everyday life.

Of course, there are some fairy-tale moments in a relationship that everyone remembers, but they are not something that every relationship is based on. You need to realize that a relationship between two people who love each other is dynamic and changeable. It has its ups and downs, and it mostly consists of persisting to overcome everyday obstacles that life puts in front of both of you.

2. You can’t give up your ideals.

You think your ideals are precious and that you should be the one pursuing them and eventually reaching them. The truth is, you will learn how to find more precious emotions, feelings, and relationships in your life once you liberate yourself from ideals. It is very difficult for you to accept that truth and you don’t want to believe your ideals should be put aside when it comes finding true love.

In your heart, you’re still a little girl in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and magical, and everything is possible and about to happen, and your life is full of dreamy expectations. But, time goes by and, eventually, you will have to become a woman who seeks something deep, but REAL.

3. Whenever you find yourself in a romantic situation, it doesn’t fulfill your expectations.

Romantic situations can be very stressful for you in reality. You have a very clear picture in your head how everything should look —from that first kiss to sex. You create scenarios in your head where he is the most handsome Prince Charming who carries you in his arms to bed, showers you with rose petals, and cuddles you till you fall asleep. Yup, reality is much, much different from that.

4. Your standards are TOO high.

The thing is, you don’t want a real person, but a hero—Prince Charming, Superman, a guy whose heart belongs to you unconditionally and whose life is dedicated to guarding and protecting you. Reality check: the highest quality men have their own lives, just like the highest quality women. They find happiness when they meet and when they realize they can make each other’s lives easier and more beautiful.

In a good relationship, people with open hearts know what they want, and they are grateful when they get that. They don’t expect each other to be perfect princes and princesses.