Relationship advice

20 Wrong Steps Men Make On The First Date And Lose Her

Whether you’ve met that brand new guy from a successful swipe-right Tinder session or you locked eyes with the cutie from across the cubicle, your roller-coaster of feelings can go from zero to a million miles per hour! After chatting with your potential partner and the anticipation mounds, it’s completely understandable to be envisioning the perfect night with visions of happily ever after.

Unfortunately, for one reason or another, our dreams of a flawless date don’t come true. There are multiple reasons why the date could potentially go south, and some of them can be attributed to our guy’s inability to understand exactly what we need in a partner.

This year has been the year of the woman in every aspect of our culture, and we’re celebrating it loud and proud by showing our men what we like and what we don’t, and how much our voices matter! The dating world is one such avenue the ladies are proud to support; the goal is to make the waves of the dating current crash less, and more fun for everyone!

Our goal is to help our partners understand how to be our perfect date. There are a few hurdles they must jump through, though. Examining some common dating blunders made by men can be a recipe for change if our guys do some rearranging! It’s time to trade that “blunder” for a “stunner!”



20He Talks Excessively

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Picture this: you’re sitting across your guy, and you have the urge to look at the time because he seems to never stop talking. Did he pause for breath? Has he eaten a single bite of food? Have you said a single word in the last hour?

There are multiple questions that can run through your mind when your date appears to be a “chatty Cathy.” When he doesn’t allow you to interject in conversation, and you find yourself waiting for an opportunity to say absolutely anything, the forecast for a second date might not predict sunny skies.

19He Orders Food For His Date

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Multiple types of choices are made when it comes to planning for a date, and sometimes, the choices are made well into the date itself.

If you’ve chosen a specific type of restaurant, hopefully you two will have an idea of the cuisine you’ll be eating, but sometimes, your date could out himself as a food fanatic by taking the liberty of ordering a dish for the both of you, without asking you first!

While he might be thinking the gesture is sweet, quickly let him know you’re not into it. Your food is your own choice unless otherwise stated!


18He’s Extremely Nitpicky

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When it comes to dating, the word “nitpick” can have the ability to send all members of the dating party into a tizzy. The “nitpick stage” can begin at any point in your interaction, but no time is really a good time for a nitpicker!

There’s a difference between knowing what you want to do and refusing to listen or compromise when it comes to planning. Even though it might be difficult, try to remain patient with your guy, and try to understand what it is he wants to do. If he refuses to compromise, though, ditch the date! It’s okay, really. You deserve better.

17He’s Not Upfront About Paying

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One of the most essential dating situations which must be discussed as early as possible is the decision over who is responsible for grabbing the check at the end of the night.

Figuring out this element could prevent a severe sense of awkwardness later.

Making the decision over who gets to pay the tab can depend on the couple; some may see it as a symbol of a relationship, and others may agree the guy should pay the bill, as a vintage act of chivalry. Talk to your partner before going to the restaurant; you’ll feel so much better beforehand!


16He Plans Too Much For The Future

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Having a crush and the prospect of going on a first date with them can feel exciting. Getting lost in daydreams of first dates, first kisses, your first dance at your wedding and buying furniture for your first apartment together are all completely normal!

Trying to bring fantasies into real life can potentially lead to confusion and hurt feelings, though. If you notice signs of your date itching for a second date or appearing to move faster than you’re comfortable with, gently remind him to live in the moment and enjoy it!

15He Ignores Everything She Says

via Daily Urbanista

Making sure both of you have the chance to equally contribute to the relationship, especially in conversation, is vital. In the early stages of dating when you’re still trying to get to know one another and the mood is still new, it can be noticeable when one of you is more talkative than the other.

In some cases, dating someone who never seems to stop talking can be a drag. It’s even worse if he doesn’t seem to listen to what you say, or if he doesn’t show much interest in you and your life. It’s really no fun feeling invisible on your date.


14He’s Raided Her Profile

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Don’t get us wrong: scoping your potential beau’s dating profile or social media accounts is an essential part of the getting-to-know-you process!

It’s a major bummer, though, when your date appears to have taken too many intricate notes on your cyber existence. When you’re finally meeting face-to-face, it’s ideal to have something to discuss. You can always tell when you’re dating a social media maven when they seemingly already know a ton of information about you.

Even if he has given your profiles the once over, (we all have!), hopefully, he’ll keep it to himself. It’s your story to tell!

13His Expectations Are Too High

via Quiet Revolution

Disappointment is both a natural part of life and a common occurrence in the dating world. It’s common knowledge and courtesy to keep your disappointment to yourself when you’re on a bad date with someone.

Some people are better at masking their emotions than others. If you end up on a date with someone who seems to be disappointed with any aspect of your date because he has high expectations, it’s quite a turnoff. But it’s really his loss at the end of the day! Did he have to be so moody or snappy, though? Geez!


12He Isn’t Chivalrous

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Chivalry can be a complicated subject. Some believe chivalry is a totally antiquated practice and the thought of someone pulling out a chair for them is just downright off-putting. Some see acts of chivalry as being nice or thoughtful behaviour. No matter what your feelings are surrounding chivalry, it’s agreeable being chivalrous is so much better than being flat-out rude!

Sometimes, we don’t get quite so lucky, and our dates turn out to be really rude. It’s like they don’t even think about what we’re thinking or feeling, or if we’d like a jacket when it’s pouring with rain outside. That’s a guaranteed “no” for a second date!

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11He Treats Her Like A Damsel In Distress

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It’s rare to end up with someone who believes in complete and total chivalry. Some guys think chivalry means treating a woman like a damsel in distress, but that’s not the case! If your guy’s amount of chivalry is making you feel uncomfortable, such as because he’s treating you like you’re a fragile or helpless being who can’t think for herself, let him know in a polite way.


10He Brags Excessively

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Being proud of yourself for a job well done is great. But, when someone seems to talk exclusively about something in a braggadocious way, it can be a little tough to know how to deal. So many questions can go through your mind. How do you respond to this guy across from you, who is excessively talking about his car collection or his perfect grades? How do you show him he’s being a bit OTT?

Patiently sitting through the conversation and attempting to change the subject can be helpful. Maybe he’ll get the hint that you’re feeling awkward.

9He Doesn’t Commit To Plans

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One of the most nervewracking points of a budding relationship is planning. Not only are you attempting to plan a date, but you’re also learning how the other person deals and reacts to planning. Some people love to plan, while others avoid any aspect of planning.

He should at least make an effort to show some enthusiasm for the date and to show you that he’s willing to plan ahead for dates so that he makes you a priority in his life instead of making you feel like a last-minute option for Saturday night.


8He Disregards The Staff

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A quick way to see a snapshot of a guy’s personality is to notice how he treats his fellow human beings.

Watching how he treats other people will give you a good indication of how he’ll treat you! Your new boo’s interactions with others can have the power to make or break your relationship.

One extremely important interaction worth paying attention to is the way your guy treats the staff at a restaurant. If your dude is continuously rude to your server, nitpicking the way they’re doing their job or just simply being mean to them, that’s a deal breaker. Bye!

7He Ghosts His Date

via The Independent

Ghosting happens when your date completely stops communicating with you after a date without any type of explanation. Ghosting hurts and can feel incredibly confusing, leaving you with a countless number of questions. You might begin to wonder if you were the cause of your guy’s act of ghosting. Did you do something wrong? No!

A guy’s reason for ghosting can vary, but always keep in mind that your ghost guy is a coward to disappear on you like that. There’s never a good enough reason for it.


6He Makes Tasteless Jokes

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A sense of humour is an important quality in a relationship for many people, but one important component of humour is finding the same things funny.

If you notice your jokester beau repeatedly enjoys a type of humour that makes you feel uncomfortable, he’s not entitled to your laughter. Tell Joker-man straight up how unsettled his jokes make you feel.

5He Refuses To Unplug

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Our phones are so close to us, they could serve as our third arm. We take our phones everywhere we go, and they can be a quality companion, but they shouldn’t be someone’s best pal while you’re on a date!

Of course, there are moments where phone use is acceptable; sometimes, you have to capture that Insta-worthy meal you’re digging into, or snap a selfie to commemorate the evening, but when your dude seems to be doing more scrolling than speaking during your time together, it can be a dealbreaker. Make a mutual decision to unplug beforehand!


4Being Too Social On Social Media

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There are countless reasons why social media makes the world go round, and why it’s made our world better, but of course there is always an opposite side to a heavily hashtagged environment – yup, it’s not pretty.

First and foremost, talk to your guy about social media and boundaries. Let him know if you’re okay with being tagged in photos or being mentioned in his posts.

Some people are simply over-sharers, but you’re entitled to what you’re involved with online! Open and honest communication is so important here to prevent unhealthy and damaging situations.

3He’s Too Touchy

Let’s get into some real talk: boundaries are one of the most important aspects of our existence. Whether they’re physical or emotional, setting boundaries and making sure the people in our lives respect them is non-negotiable.

Dating and boundaries can feel intimidating. Everyone is different, and many people dislike physical contact from people they don’t know well. Giving and receiving hugs can be a strong form of connection for some, but it’s common courtesy to respect your date’s personal space. Consent is important and vital! Before he reaches out to hold your hand, kiss you or hug you, he needs to check that you want to be so close to him.


2He Overreacts To Rejection

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Let’s face it, rejection hurts! Sometimes, rejection and dating can be complex and confusing. You might think your date went incredibly well and you two effortlessly clicked, but your partner could have a different opinion.

Each and every person comprehends and handles rejection differently. In a perfect world, the couple is honest with each other about how they’re feeling, and the two move on with no hard feelings. Unfortunately, not everyone handles rejection so peacefully. If your guy does something to give you that impression, like sending a string of unwanted or mean texts, do yourself a favour and block his number!

1His Post-Date Texts Are OTT

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You’ve experienced the feeling: you and your potential partner had the best date imaginable, and you can hardly wait for the opportunity to talk to him again to see what’s next! The concept of texting after a date varies from person to person regarding how long you should wait to light up their phone, but it’s pretty easy to judge if a person texts excessively.

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Everyone has different texting habits, so it’s a must to communicate about them with your partner to reach a comfortable level for both of you. If he still doesn’t slow down his texts or at least reach a texting compromise with you, it’s up to you to decide if you want such an OTT texter in your life. It might be a lot of drama!


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