20 Signs He Would Love A Second Date…But Is Too Shy To Ask

ThoughtCatalogs April 17, 2019

0 26 10 minutes read

I can’t think of anything more stressful than a first date. Dating someone new can be exciting, nerve-racking and scary all at the same time. That pesky thought of what if this turns into something amazing or what if your awkward laugh ruins all possible potential will probably linger on throughout the whole date. If you think about it, though, first dates are a lot like job interviews. You might have to put yourself through a ton of interviews before you find that perfect job who accepts you and loves you and all your flaws.

One of the most annoying parts about first dates is determining if your date is interested in a second date. Girls throw out all sorts of signs to help men figure out what we want. You know, we will lean in close and probably won’t be able to get rid of that goofy grin on our face. But men are a different story.

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All their life, men are told to be strong and brave. The typical man won’t willingly show his cards without being sure it’s a home run. Men dread rejection more than they dread sharing their intimate feelings. So, instead of plainly asking you on a second date, if he’s truly interested in you, he will most likely just send out signals and hope you take the bait. If you still aren’t sure, here are 20 signs he would love a second date but is too shy to approach the target head-on.

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20He Deliberately Makes Eye Contact

There’s a difference between looking at you while you’re talking and making the conscious decision to look straight into your eyes. If you notice your date is gazing into your eyes like he can read your soul, then he’s interested in carrying your connection on to a second date.

When you look into someone’s eyes, you are not only showing them you are paying attention, you are opening yourself up to them, too. His deliberate eye contact is to let you know that he is 100 percent interested in you and getting to know you better. After all, the eyes are the window to the soul, right?

19He Is Actively Involved In The Conversation

Actively engaging in a conversation is a tough thing for a lot of guys to do. Usually, they don’t like to talk, so if he is actually making an effort to keep the conversation flowing without any awkward silences, you know he’s trying hard to get that second date.

Being actively involved in the conversation not only includes talking to you, but it also requires attentive listening and asking detailed questions at all the right times. This might be easy for most of us females, but for guys, it isn’t always as simple. Some men have short attention spans and need to work hard to focus on a conversation.

18He Shows Interest In Your Background

If a guy is interested in a second date, you might find him asking questions about your background. He is going to invest himself fully in learning everything he can about you. What are your favorite hobbies, your ambitions, your life’s hopes, and dreams, etc.

Guys don’t dedicate themselves to getting to know these details for just anyone. When a guy isn’t committed to the date, he’s not going to waste so much time getting to know you better and he definitely won’t seem truly interested in what you have to say. You should be able to tell if he is exhibiting interest in your history.

17He Will Be On His Best Behavior

Compared to women, men are kind of gross. They have all these strange odors and bad habits. They burp too loud and sometimes show no fear in letting it rip. If your date is on his best behavior, he’s looking forward to seeing you again.

He’s going to be polite to not only you, but also the waitstaff. He wants you to see he is a gentleman and someone worth getting to know better. He’ll keep his dirty jokes to a minimum and work hard to keep his hands to himself until the time is right.

16He Will Admire You

Admiration is one of the greatest forms of flattery. Your date will make sure you know how beautiful you are to him. He will stare most likely be caught staring at you even when he thinks you aren’t looking, and he will definitely dish out those sweet compliments.

All of your hard work getting ready for this first date will not go unnoticed if he wants a second date. He won’t know what to do with himself because he will be in such awe of you. If he is admiring everything about you, take this as a sign he wants to see you again.

15He Goes Out Of His Way To Impress You

Boys are all caveman on the inside. If he would love that second date, he is going to try desperately to impress you even if he ends up falling flat on his bum. If you are in any kind of arcade environment, you can count on him to try to win you the biggest teddy bear.

He will make sure you know what he has to offer. He’s going to pump himself up and tell you all about his great accomplishments in life. If he wasn’t looking to see you again after the night, he wouldn’t be putting in so much game.

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14He Shares Personal Details

Vulnerability is scary for anyone, but it is especially dreaded for men. Being sensitive doesn’t exactly fall in line with being macho and tough. However, if he wants to see you for that second date, he is going to make sure to share some sort of personal or intimate details.

His stories are going to tell you a lot about who he is and what he wants from you. If everything he says seems superficial and materialistic, don’t count on getting another date. But if he lets you know about how he still calls his mom every week to catch up, he wants you to know all of him.

13He Laughs At Your Jokes

We all think we are the funniest people alive. At least I know I do. Sadly, we can’t all be Adam Sandlers. If your date is giving endearingly chuckling at all your jokes, he is into you and wants a second date.

Now, remember, there is a difference between laughing at you and laughing with you. Make sure he’s not just laughing at you because you’ve had a booger hanging from your nose the whole night. Laughing at your jokes, even if they might not be the funniest, is a sign of approval of the person. If he’s laughing, he likes you.

12He Has No Problem Paying For The Date

Would you be jumping at the chance of going on a second date with someone who forced you to pay for everything during the first date? I didn’t think so. Most men will typically offer to pay for the date. This is a kind thing to do.

If he would love to get that second date, he is going to jump on that check and insist he pays. He’s going to dismiss all your attempts to split it or cover the bill. He is going to make it clear that this is a proper date and not a get together between two friends.

11He Wants Your Opinion

If you aren’t enjoying yourself during the date, he obviously knows he isn’t going to get a second date. If he has any chance of seeing you again, he will make sure you are having fun. Therefore, he cares about your opinion on all matters.

He might casually ask you if you like the outfit he chose or if you are getting bored during the date. Asking for your opinion is opening himself up for rejection, and that is definitely a tough thing for all people to do. He wants you to like him, though, so he’s willing to take that risk.

10He Walks You To Your Door After Date

This one might seem like common sense, but if he’s not interested in a second date why would he want to continue the first date for longer than he has to? Walking you to the door is a sign of concern and respect. He genuinely cares about your safety and wants to carry on the date for as long as possible.

If he wants a second date, he’s going to relish in getting those extra few minutes with you at your front door. This can work even if you took separate cars to the date; he will make sure he walks you to your car before saying the final goodbye.

9He Wants More Alone Time

There can be a lot of chaos going on around you during the first date. Chances are you two went somewhere public and possibly a little crowded. If that’s the case, he will search out those moments of alone time.

Alone time allows for a more special connection and better conversation. First dates should definitely be fun, but it can be just as important to make sure you and your date have quiet time to get a better feel for each other. When he wants the first date to lead to the second date, he will get you alone.

8He Will Try To Extend The Date

Some dates can last for hours and only feel like a few minutes. Time will fly during your first date if you are both enjoying yourself. He can’t wait to see you again, so he’s going to try to get you to stay out later than you anticipated.

Maybe after dinner, he will ask if you want to go for dessert, or he’ll ask if you want to take a stroll with him before going home. These are all his little ways of showing he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, and if that’s the case, he would love to have a second date with you.

7He Pays Attention to You

There are a ton of distractions in the world. Bright lights, shiny smartphones, prettier people, etc. A date who wants a second date will pay attention to only you. He will get lost in your conversation and want to have fun with you. His phone should not be a distraction.

If he has a hard time putting his phone down, chances are he isn’t interested in carrying on with dating you seriously. You will notice you are his number one priority on the date if he is thinking about the second date already.

6He Tells You He’s Having A Good Time

If he genuinely expresses how great of a time he is having out on the date with you, he is probably thinking about how to get that second date. A person having a good time will glow and you will feel drawn to them. If he’s too shy to audibly say he is having a good time, you should be able to tell by his body language.

When he lets you know how the date is going without you having to ask, that is a great sign. He wants to reassure you that everything is going well, so that you too start to think about seeing him again.

5He Noticeably Lingers

Some first date goodbyes are just plain awkward. Who initiates the hug, do you ask him to call you later, and do you give him a high five? There are so many things up in the air during those last few moments together.

A guy who would love a second date with you will make those last few minutes become 10 or 15 more minutes. He doesn’t want to say goodbye and watch you walk away. A man who lingers is a man who is interested in seeing you again another time.

4He Gives A Gentle Goodbye Kiss

There is something so fairytale-esc about a soft and gentle goodnight kiss. As he leans in, he looks you into the eyes as if asking for permission. He holds your cheek in his hand and just ever so slightly connects with you. This is a kiss from a man who is taking this dating thing with you seriously.

If a guy is like slobbering all over you and digging for you to go further, he might just want you for the night. This probably isn’t someone interested in a second date. A second dater wants to put the ball in your court with the kiss.

3He Sends That Post-Date Text

Some guys are very adamant about waiting a couple of days to follow up on the date. A definite sign that he is interested in a second date is that post-date text. Once that post-date text arrives, you know he wants to see you again. Often, this text will come the next morning, but sometimes it can even come later that night when he gets home.

He will let you know again what a great time he had and express how he hopes you had fun, too. He might even mention how nice it was kissing you. It’s your turn to carry on the conversation.

2He Makes An Effort To Plan For The Future

Making future plans during a date is almost exactly like saying, “hey, I want a second date with you!”

When a guy starts playing into your relationship fantasies, he’s not just humoring you – he wants you to know that he would love to see you again and possibly make those things happen one day. He might mention an upcoming concert to see if you show the slightest sign of interest. He might not ask you to join him at that moment, but he’s working up to it and wants to make sure you’re going to say yes before he puts himself out there.

1He Hypothetically Suggests A Second Date

This one is a classic guy sign. If he’s the shy or timid type of man and really into you, he might post the thought of a second date in a hypothetical sense. You know, he’ll say something like, “What if we went on a second date, what would you want to do?” If you are interested in him, he assumes you will play along.

After spending a couple of hours with a man, you should have a decent feel for whether his intentions are true. He might not spit out the words just yet, but it will come. If it doesn’t, you can always make the next move.