There are sometimes red flags when a relationship first starts to blossom, but very few are able to identify them for what they are. Love and infatuation can come between an otherwise rational person and their perception of the relationships they have with those around them.
This is where a helpful third party comes in handy—almost anyone who can offer an outsider’s opinion will be able to see the signs before the two people involved will see them.
Since friends can sometimes keep their reservations to themselves in an effort to support each other in their romantic endeavors, it’s sometimes best to turn to other sources to point out what signs indicate a possible true love or a possible relational disaster.
Anyone with a relationship track record can agree these signs are great indicators of whether things will be right as rain or will derail at the first turn. Here are fifteen signs the relationship isn’t likely to work out for the best and fifteen signs there’s hope for a forever relationship:
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30It’s Meant To Be: They’re Considerate
No one can tell, with absolute certainty, whether a relationship will work out, but there are tons of signs that indicate a relationship is on the right track. If you and your partner are considerate of one another, take it as a great sign. It means they are just as interested in keeping you happy as you are in keeping them happy.
When both parties are open to the others’ needs, stronger bonds are formed and relationships tend to flourish.
Keep in mind everyone has their own definition of “considerate,” but you know they’re a keeper if they’re willing to bend to your whims every now and then and if they’re willing to put in a little extra effort to keep you happy.
29It Probably Won’t Work Out: They’re Selfish
As strange as it may seem, sometimes it’s really hard to see when someone is being selfish. There are a few telltale signs to search for, such as a partner who doesn’t bother asking your opinion and takes it upon themselves to make all the decisions for both of you, but when you’re wearing rose-tinted glasses, this might be construed as a sign of a strong leader and you don’t mind going with the flow anyway. If your partner seems to be all about themselves and less about you as an individual or even you together as a couple, the relationship isn’t likely to work out.
28It’s Meant To Be: Gifts Are Meaningful
Did your partner surprise you on your birthday with the perfect thoughtful gift? Partners who are aware of each other’s passions, desires, wants and general interests tend to give more meaningful gifts.
It shows that they want to give more than just a useless knickknack or simple gift card—they want their gift to stand out because you stand out to them.
They want you to look at the gift and think of them. When real love is involved, people make sure to show their feelings.
27It Probably Won’t Work Out: There Are Rarely Gifts – Ever
Gifts are not the deciding factor in relationships and they never will be; that being said, the complete lack of gifts, even something as simple as a hand-written note, can be a bad sign. While it may be normal to refrain from regular gift-giving, it definitely says something when your partner tells you to expect nothing on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Unless it’s due to a religious or financial issue, the lack of gifts can sometimes translate to a lack of romantic feelings. After all, even children gift the people they love little things like mud pies or little toys as signs of affection.
26It’s Meant To Be: They’re Willing To Meet Your Friends
Even the most antisocial people are willing to step out of their comfort zones to meet their significant other’s friends.
When your partner, especially if your partner is super shy, is willing to meet your friends and introduce you to theirs, it’s a good sign.
It means they want to be a more permanent part of your life and would like to be a more permanent part of yours. Once everyone’s friends are involved, it’s a sign the relationship has moved into more serious waters.
25It Won’t Work Out: They Aren’t Interested In Your Friends
If your partner can’t be bothered to introduce you to their friends, and if they have absolutely no interest in your friends either, then there might be some choppy waters ahead. When someone doesn’t want to be a bigger presence in your life, which is to say they don’t want to be introduced to your friends or your family, it can be assumed they aren’t interested in a long-term relationship. They don’t want to invest unnecessary time or effort into you or your friends.
24It’s Meant To Be: The Relationship Started With A Strong Friendship
People often say the best relationships stem from the best of friendships. If you start off as friends, then you already know each other’s interests, life goals, family life, and often also share the same pool of friends.
The only difference is instead of looking at each other as good friends, romantic feelings have blossomed and simply standing next to each other isn’t good enough anymore.
Best friends becoming a romantic item tends to have higher success rates as both parties are already intimately aware of the others’ lifestyles. If you’re with your bestie, congratulations! You’re more likely to make it in the long run.
23It Probably Won’t Work Out: Everything Was A Whirlwind
Romance can absolutely stem from nothing more than a smile from across the room—and relationships blossoming from such things can also be successful, but that isn’t always the case. While it might feel real in the moment, sometimes these whirlwind romances are a combination of temporary interest and intense emotional connections, followed by an immediate withdrawal of both. When passions run high, the longevity of the relationship can sometimes suffer, making whirlwind romances among the most unsuccessful of all romantic connections.
22It’s Meant To Be: He/She Is Passionate About Spending Quality Time
There’s a massive difference between spending time with someone while watching a movie and casually gaming versus interacting with one another and having conversations.
Quality time is special to couples who will last because they understand the necessity of a deeper exchange.
They value the time they share with one another and they’re genuinely interested in how the other spent their day. If your partner is requesting quality time with you, then you know the relationship is off to a great start.
21It Probably Won’t Work Out: He/She Is Only Passionate About Closed-Doors Time
When you’re in a relationship, you want to be around your partner every chance you get. Quality time is normal for a couple, especially a new couple, however, if you find yourself feeling lonely due to the lack of real heart-to-heart interaction, the relationship may not be everything you want. If your partner is only interested in intimate time together, then we’ve got some bad news. Make sure your partner is interested in who you are as a person, not just what you can offer.
20It’s Meant To Be: Neither Person Feels They Need To Hide Who They Really Are
You love to laugh with your partner and they love to make you laugh. You love to spend time together because you know you don’t have to keep your strange or silly quirks from them and they don’t have to keep theirs from you.
This is what love is all about—two people coming together to share in their strangeness without fear of rejection or judgment.
If you can be who you really are around your partner, the relationship is much more likely to overcome life’s obstacles.
19It Probably Won’t Work Out: One Or Both Parties Can’t Reveal Who They Really Are
We’ve all seen those romantic comedies where one person is one hundred percent real while the other is pretending to be someone they’re not. The important lesson we all take away from such films is simple: Be who you really are and they’ll either love you or they won’t. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. It’s amazing how many people try to pull the wool over their love interest’s eyes, but it won’t work and neither will the relationship.
18It’s Meant To Be: They Love Sharing Their Passions
Does your partner love talking about art? Maybe art is their most beloved pastime and it’s all they can talk about. They even invite you to shows and try to get you involved. This is a great sign! They want to bring you into their little cocoon of passion projects.
They love spending time with their craft and they love spending time with you, so they’re trying to merge the two into one cohesive event.
Anyone who wants to share their passions with you will likely work hard to help maintain the relationship.
17It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Aren’t Interested In Anyone Else’s Interests
Your partner loves music. They live, eat, and breathe music. They’re always going off to concerts, collecting albums, artwork, learning about the artists, and generally revolving their life around their passion—but here’s the catch: they never invite you to join in. They might talk to you about their favorite bands or best experience, but they want more of an audience than someone to truly connect and share their experiences with. While it might not bother you at first, over time it will wear you down and the relationship will die off. Don’t be with someone who wants someone to listen to them, be with someone who wants to experience life with them.
16It’s Meant To Be: They Listen
Life can sometimes get complicated and you need a shoulder to cry on.
If your partner is interested in you and maintaining the relationship, they’ll make themselves available to hear you out.
The great thing is if the relationship is meant to be, your partner will also be happy to be there to listen to you talk about your day, your hopes and your goals. A good listener makes for a great partner. Just make sure you’re there just as often for them as they are for you!
15It Probably Won’t Work Out: They’re Stubborn And Refuse To Consider Other Ideas
If you have something to say and your partner isn’t interested in hearing it, odds are the relationship isn’t going to work out that well. If you’re excited to share information or maybe you just want to offer some sound advice, but your partner isn’t listening to you and isn’t interested in what you have to say, things aren’t going to end well. Partners should be there for each other and shouldn’t go out of their way to push one another out. If you want a real relationship, look for someone who is mature enough to give you one.
14It’s Meant To Be: They’re Generally Polite
Polite people tend to be so because they genuinely want to be nice. The great thing about people who are polite is they are willing to consider things from various perspectives. They tend to be better communicators and are also able to keep their temper much longer than others.
If you’ve got a partner who is polite to everyone, not just people they like, then you’ve got a good egg.
Don’t let go! They’re among the most likely to produce a successful relationship.
13It Probably Won’t Work Out: They’re Rude To Waitstaff
If your partner takes you out for a fancy dinner date and is immediately rude or complaining about the service, the relationship isn’t likely to improve. Waitstaff is just as hardworking as anyone else, if not more since they must deal with rude customers. When your partner disrespects the staff at an establishment, you know that your partner doesn’t view them as people, but as something less. Even if it only mildly bothers you at first, over time it will grate more and more and lead to argument after argument. Don’t bother with a poor partner who can’t exhibit basic respect.
12It’s Meant To Be: They Value Their New Relationship
New relationships are supposed to be exciting. Both parties are happy they got over the initial anxiety of admitting their romantic feelings to one another and they’re ready to spend more time together.
It’s easy to tell if they’re excited about the relationship and they can’t stop talking about you to their friends and family.
If your partner is continuously working on the relationship and is genuinely excited to spend time with you, the relationship is more likely to succeed. Remember, when two people put in effort to make something last, it generally does.
11It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Still Talk About Their Ex (A LOT)
A surprising number of people can remain genuine friends with their ex after a breakup. In fact, it shows how mature a person can be when they can dissolve a romantic relationship without disbanding the friendship. Of course, in all things, there is still a risk. If you and your partner are just starting the relationship but they seem to be spending a lot more time and effort maintaining their friendship with their ex than they are the relationship between the two of you, something is wrong. It’s not a good sign if it looks like they won’t be able to let go of their past.
10It’s Meant To Be: They Encourage Growth In The Relationship
Anyone who encourages growth in another person is great. Change isn’t always easy and it takes a big person to understand that it is both necessary and should be encouraged.
If your partner is supportive of your life goals and the unexpected changes in plans that can sometimes happen, it’s a great sign that the relationship will last into eternity.
Being supportive is one of the greatest traits to look for in a romantic partner because it means they know how to set aside short-term ideals for long-term improvement.
9It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Don’t Believe In Change
No one and nothing can remain completely unchanged forever. If your partner doesn’t seem to encourage the changes you want for yourself, things can start to go south. A relationship is hard to maintain, but it’s even more difficult to hold onto when one person doesn’t want to put in any effort. Relationships that are stuck in one place don’t really go anywhere, meaning they are at a higher risk of completely dissolving, all because one person couldn’t handle a little bit of change.
8It’s Meant To Be: They Are Willing To Talk Through Issues
One of the greatest signs of a real relationship working out is having a partner who wants to talk through the tough times.
Some people might try to clam up but a mature person will want to listen to their partner’s concerns, voice their own thoughts on the matter, and are willing to find a solution.
This kind of interaction is evidence of their commitment to you and the relationship. It might not be a surefire way to tell if you’ll spend eternity together, but it’s a great sign indicating everything is likely to work out.
7It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Throw Tantrums When They Don’t Get Their Way
Can you compare your romantic partner to a toddler? Does your SO freak out when they don’t get their way and literally start complaining and throwing a tantrum? Sorry, but it looks like the relationship isn’t going to last very long. It doesn’t take much for a person to realize they want a romantic relationship, not one in which they must treat their partner like a child. If your love interest can’t handle a real conversation or compromise, the relationship isn’t likely to work out in the long run.
6It’s Meant To Be: They’re Always There When Needed
Sometimes we need our partners as a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes we just want their advice because life can be really hard and as humans, we just need to be heard or held. It isn’t reasonable to expect our partners to drop what they’re doing to come to comfort us at every turn.
But if they’re around more often than they’re not, it shows a level of respect, love, and commitment that is hard to come by.
They definitely want the relationship to last, and they’ll work to make it happen.
5It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Ignore Calls And Texts For Days At A Time
Even if you live with your partner, it’s possible to feel lonely. If they’re always going out and they aren’t answering their phone or responding to messages, then something is wrong. If you don’t live with them and they’re going days without contact, it’s usually for a reason. Someone who wants to make a relationship last will put in the effort and will be happy to hear from you, not treat a simple conversation like a chore. Don’t sell yourself short—look for a real relationship with someone who truly cherishes you.
4It’s Meant To Be: They Balance Their Alone Time With Together Time Well
Everyone needs some alone time and it’s good to go out with friends instead of using every spare minute of your life with your significant other.
If your partner is great at balancing their home, romantic, friendship and scholastic/work time, then they’re more likely to provide you with the attention you want and need.
When couples can balance their time and keep themselves from constantly stressing over how to work things out, relationships tend to last a little longer than most.
3It Probably Won’t Work Out: They Are Really Needy
Does your significant other constantly call and text you? Do they whine about feeling lonely right after you leave their place? Are you struggling to make time for friends and family because your partner is always around? Odds are the relationship isn’t going to last long. They’re too reliant on you for their comfort and happiness—something you should not be solely responsible for. Clingy partners tend to leech onto your life and make things difficult, which will naturally wear down any relationship.
2It’s Meant To Be: Arguments End In Resolutions
Everybody argues at one point or another. It is silly to believe you’ll never argue just because you love someone.
The key to a lasting relationship is to find someone willing to go through with an argument but who is also able to look for a satisfying resolution afterward.
This shows that they’re willing to let bygones be bygones and they’re also able to focus on what’s important—solving the problem. If your partner is a good problem solver and is willing to work through disagreements, hold onto them!
1It Probably Won’t Work Out: The Same Fights Happen Over And Over
There’s only so much a person can take before they reach their limit. It’s one thing to have an argument about something with your partner, but it’s an entirely different matter when you find yourself engaged in the same argument over and over again. When this happens, it means there was no real resolution and after the fourth or fifth time, it’s clear there isn’t going to be one unless one or both of you are willing to concede. Relationships full of repeat arguments tend to fall apart when one person decides enough is enough.