Most separations are extremely painful for humans. That is why it is also important to cope with the sadness before embarking on a new relationship. And the separation process usually goes through four phases.

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In order to start a healthy new partnership, it is important to leave legacy behind. This means that you should complete with your ex and work through the feelings that you felt during the separation . But when are you ready for a new friend? If you ‘ve gone through these four stages , say a psychologist.

1st phase: mourning after the separation

The psychologist Jill Weber, who has authored the “The Relationship Formula Workbook” series among other things, is convinced that singles after a breakup are only ready for a new relationship when they have taken the time, the last partnership to process. At the beginning there is the sadness. You feel hurt , you may be exhausted and stressed out because of the disputes at the end of the relationship. That is unpleasant, but understandable and normal. Now it is important to allow grief – with all the facets it brings.

2nd phase: strengthening self-confidence

A healthy self-esteem and self-esteem is important for partnerships. The problem: many partners strengthen it through their attachment and not out of themselves. When the relationship is over, they stand alone.

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    Then it’s time to focus on yourself and recognize your own value independently of others. This has the advantage of being more out of the relationship and feeling more independent and free in the new love . A whole new way of life !

Phase 3: recognize and break through schemas

The more you become aware of yourself, the more clearly you see what you really want. In the past have you given your heart above all to men who do you no good at all? An important insight that you can use for your future happiness . Reflect your relationship patterns, find out what attracts you, and more importantly, realize what you want from a future partnership.

4th phase: strengthening communication skills

We all know that if you want to have a happy relationship, you have to talk to your partner and discuss conflicts as soon as they arise, so that no true crises develop from them. The problem according to Weber: We always choose partners who communicate in the same way as we do. Means: If you are more reserved, good communication will be difficult in the long run, provided you choose a partner who has similar problems.

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Use the time after separation to work on your own communicative abilities and learn to express yourself. Then you can start strengthened in a happy new relationship.